Category: #amblogging

Hot Mess ~ Success

Laptop, chair cup tea
Lack of inspiration thee
Let someone down, me

Idea romance
Instead stare screen semi-trance
Insult dawn last straw

Each day new burden
Every choice uncertain
Eh, no gain force writes

Above penned in combo ‘ABC’ and ‘Tanka’ poetry styles.
The word spelled out is ‘lie’.
I often wonder if blogging is therapeutic or waste of precious time.
Although fairly intelligent, a person with common-sense, until the
Lord calls me home it’s doubtful I’ll ever understand certain behavioral
patterns of humans.





Teenage Memories

I look out my apartment’s sliding glass door.

The view, the snow-covered grass park I spent

countless hours together with my wonderful teen

friends, brings back many happy memories.

The majority of these friends no longer walk

the paths within the park.

Some relocated due to jobs, some moved

away for other reasons and sadly many no

longer walk this place we call Earth.

Reflecting back to yesteryears there were

two sets of teenagers, the elite a.k.a. jocks

and the poor a.k.a. hoodlums, a group of

friends who were labelled ‘The Park Gang’.

Although an honor roll student in school,

I was a better fit for the latter group. Why?

My dysfunctional family was in the ‘ugh’

classification ‘poor’.

We were simply a group of friends

who spent time together enjoying

Mother Nature’s beauty and idle chit-chat.

On days when enough of us showed to hang

out we’d shoot hoops or utilize the ballfield.

The past is history; however, the same feeling

of ‘bullying’ persists via comparison of parents’

wealth.

I won’t apologize for my misfortune. I’d rather

concentrate on the present and hope for

improvement of current circumstances in the

near future.

Wealth doesn’t define a person; however, some

well-off people continue to be quite snobbish and

know-it-alls.

5 Things Tuesday ~ Skills Lost

Personal negative effects from the worldwide Pandemic:

  1. Both senior citizen centers I frequented weekly closed;
    no more opportunities for socialization.
  2. Aerobics and Zumba classes stopped plus no option
    for indoor walking those extremely hot summer days.
  3. I rarely saw my youngest daughter and grandchildren
    thus, I missed out on family celebrations.
  4. Bargain shopping became a thing of the past. I dislike
    regular shopping online.
  5. My faith slowly waned as depression showed up and
    alas there went my organizational skills.

https://saltedcaramel670.wordpress.com/2022/01/25/5-skills-you-have-lost-in-the-pandemic/

Student’s Academic Performance

Three R’s education . . .

Reading, writing, ‘rithemetic

Three basic skills taught in schools.

Modern technology allows a parent

access to their child’s performance two

different methods ~ hand-held card plus

view report online.

Once upon a time students with poor

grades in order to avoid punishment

would sign a parent’s name to the back

of their report cards.

Remember when:

Face morphing ~ Coffee Please

l.likee.video/v/27Xolg

Hello . . .
Trial and error – sooo fun (LOL)
I shall return following breakfast.
Think ‘trial (OK) ~ transfer ‘error’

Explanation ~ determination ~ key

Cell phone app fun much
Video creator, fan
Enjoyment hobbie
Supporter family, friends
Amazing experience

Via invitation I joined the app five years ago.
Fan to creator, another invite ~ should I bother?
Yesterday I listened words ‘you can do it’ vocal insta-message.

Do I wish to livestream? Uncertain.

Already have more things to do and not enough time to do them.

Explanation video ‘face morphing‘:

I transferred a picture of a bit younger me to a different app.
Then the transformation – future – present – past (similar to
conjugation of a verb in reverse tenses).

This morn was chock full of shock sensations 1-2-3.

First, I see the strong resemblance of younger self to my
‘talented’ youngest granddaughter.

Second, I opted to transfer the face morph video here
and it landed in the title bar. Oops!

Third, the apartment complex’s fire alarm sounded
at 8:30 a.m.

The old me, prior to current self-love journey, would
have become irritated; new me, endured and laughed.

Progress!!

Kids’ Choices ~ Junk Food

Middle school – grades 5 – 8

Pre-teens often prefer to purchase their lunch.

Mom’s bagged lunch days behind them, feeling

a tad grownup, students face a new challenge with

regard to healthy food choices.

Reflecting back on days when my children were

given lunch money junk food ranked high in their

nourishment selections.

Daily the school cafeteria’s well-balanced meals

took a backseat to pizza, fries, ice cream bars and

vending machine options.

Today I was happy to read that my state is one of

four that has banned junk food in schools.

It’s about time.

A high percent of today’s youth classifies obese.

Hopefully this ban will aid in the improvement

of their health.

Setting Boundaries

A wakeup call for me, although late in life, was still a

wakeup call.

The genuine attempt to help a person in AA recovery

led me via his sudden rejection down the path of self-

discovery.

I qualify as a co-dependent, a label I always thought

pertained to people with addictions.

The factors in place were ones I thought were healthy.

Wrong!

A person with Type A personality demands perfection

of themselves and needs to understand it’s okay to be

perfectly imperfect.

The two-letter word ‘NO’ seems not to be in their long

list of vocabulary words because they fear rejection.

He or she needs to learn it’s impossible to fix everything

in life and realize it’s not their responsibility.

Bingo – spot on!

This is where the wall of boundaries started to exist.

I began to decline requests void now of feeling any

pangs of guilt.

Sometimes a process appears to be an easy one only

once you actually practice it there’s a strong possibility

of negative repercussions from fake friends, even family

members.

To feel loved I allowed myself to be taken advantage of

to the point of resentment.

Wow – another wakeup call.

The difference now, based on work done on the self-love

journey, is the perception of how I view myself. Those who

suddenly chose to become absent from my life when I

politely declined their requests most likely were never

truly in my corner, rather mere takers.

The decisions how I prioritize my time at this stage of

life need to be favorable to me.

To set the record straight I intend to treat true

friends in the same mannerisms as before while

I slowly remove from my life those who possess

narcissistic traits.

Although a rude awakening, the boundaries I set

in place have actually brought me peace of mind.

Self-Love Lists – Good Records

Old folks often experience short-term memory loss.

I’m sure there’s many medical reasons for this pattern.

How strange me, myself and I have no problem

recollecting every detail of events which took place

decades ago; however, without a list I tend somehow

to quickly forget portions of important stuff hence

the need for me to compose a list – make that plural.

Sharing from my journal entries today, I bring you

a Self-assessment list of ways to show myself love.

  1. reading the workbook
  2. completing the written exercises
  3. eating healthier – cooking for one fun
  4. try to get enough rest
  5. participate more in my hobbies
    (I selected seven)

Number ‘seven’ was to limit time on social media.

Old habits are hard to break and although I followed

through even deleting some apps, I still have the

desire – the curiosity to view virtual friends I made

throughout the years and watch inspirational videos.

Today I had to brave a crowded supermarket amid

the current Covid surge since my locale is about to

be hit by a Northeaster starting in the early hours

of Friday morn.

After lunch I accessed my phone and watched some

reels, a video creation on my to-learn list.

One video was about ‘God and Your Call’ and

how he designed me and all aspects of my

life. The inspirational message ended with the

the following: ‘Until you walk into the fullness of

the thing you were created for you’ll be frustrated’,

Wow!!

These words, quite profound, didn’t exactly resonate

with me 100 percent and suddenly I became somber

pondering ‘the whys’.

It would have been wonderful to be born into a loving

family with some wealth.

Would I have been happier? Would I have been

blessed with more opportunities? Who knows?

Born into an extremely poor dysfunctional household,

moving past the negatives to creation of a decent life

only to have it taken away leaving me an emotional

prisoner, who do I thank.

Unfortunately for the viewer, some inspirational

messages can trigger a depressive mood.

I’ve learned to dismiss the intrusive thoughts

and keep the positive ones since all aren’t

exactly relatable to me.

I guess this is progress in my self-love journey.

Quick fact:

Grief isn’t always related to death. A shame more

people don’t understand there are more than 40

life events that cause grief. Lucky me, I’ve

experienced all of them.


Humor – letter to me

While reading my last chosen book for the 2021 Goodreads

challenge I did many suggested workbook exercises.

Reality: ‘All the questions & answers, all the lists, all the

drawings and the letters to myself were ‘beneficial’.

I had to be 100 percent onboard and honest to feel

the gain/reward.

Random page from my journal ‘Happy Thoughts’

contains a letter I wrote to my body. It’s soo much

better to feel good about yourself.

The day I wrote the following I had a good laugh.

Dear Body,

You are old and tired now.

I remember when I used to take better care of you.

What happened? Life! Ageism. Depression.

Although I make honest efforts to forge ahead,

re-starting an exercise regimen combined with

healthy eating I doubt I’m going to approve of

the image in the mirror.

Wear a bikini (heck no) related thought = dread.

The stomach of this body carried four children on

the inside and I have a ‘roadmap’ to nowhere for

proof on the outside.

True, I’m unique and special – look at the previous

exercise, a long list of hobbies I tried throughout

my life and all the accomplishments.

Truth is: ‘I don’t like being old’; however, I’ll continue

my ‘old in years – young at heart’ portrayal.

I pray I can keep a positive mindset – one day at

a time future.

‘It’s okay to love myself and demand respect’ even

when the mirror image is a bit bothersome and tad

scary.

This journal entry portrays mixed emotions.

One has to put themself in a good frame of

mind and enjoy today’s journey at whatever

stage of life.

To compare oneself to the younger generation

is a waste of time since the biological clock

moves in one direction, forward.