Questions to answer:
Have you ever felt that one particular activity seemed to
consume more of your life than you were happy about?
Was it work, a hobby which got out of hand, health concerns
or something else?
Lastly have you managed to take back control or does it still
seem to be running the show?
Reflecting back there have been several I could discuss. At
the time I didn’t exactly feel unhappy nor overwhelmed by
any of them.
To be able to help someone who for specific health reasons
couldn’t leave the house was what a loving daughter would
do without giving a second thought to time involved or the
distance in miles walked pushing a baby carriage from one
end of town to another.
When I arrived at my destination, I would drop off the mail
and run errands in the center of town. I didn’t question the
mental state of the mother who’d never really acted like
all my friends’ moms.
These errands would have taken her approximately 15 to
45 minutes only she suffered from ‘agoraphobia’ and feared
leaving the house.
True fact: ‘For 10 years she never went outside, not even to
take out the trash’.
Back in the 60s people weren’t educated about mental health.
Today myself a diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder patient
who suffers out-of-the-blue panic attacks I understand much
about the distress she experienced over decades with no medical
diagnosis nor treatment.
I’ve made peace with what was, what wasn’t and what could
have been thanks to medical knowledge gained inclusive a
a course in Abnormal Psychology.
In my heart I feel I did the best I could for a woman who
never once told me she loved me and tried many times to
undermine and interfere with my life’s choices.