How to Handle Stress in Healthy Ways

When you’re feeling anxious (my case when not) a good idea is to take a time-out.

I’m not exactly certain to what extent this thought will affect me in coming days;

however, I feel the need to try something different.

In with the new – out with the old.

This week I spoke at length long-distance with my oldest granddaughter.

She hasn’t had an easy life since her Mother (my daughter) departed from Earth.

The month of June is tough for us as we experience an array of emotions unknown

and foreign to those who’ve never lost a parent or a child.

An interesting comment she made to me was in regard to ‘positivity toxicity’.

Here for years I’ve been reading self-help books and trying to understand people’s

actions and in the end feeling a bit numb.

Could it be possible that too much of a good thing isn’t exactly the most healthiest

ingredient?

I thought about her words.

Too much sodium isn’t good for high blood pressure patients; too much sugar isn’t

wise for a diabetic.

And I’m beginning to reflect on the possibility that trying to hard, caring too much,

reading and listening to comforting words does little to curb what I’ve been

experiencing on the inside these past years.

Words – words – words!!

Then I Googled ‘Toxic Positivity’ and found that ‘yes’ there is such a belief.

Defined as: an obsession with positive thinking, people should place a positive

spin on all experiences — even those profoundly tragic.

Wow – what an absurd thought pattern.

SoCS: June 12th 2021

prompt: drive

Finally found drive blog more often
Lucky me wi-fi connection malfunction

Early morn felt pangs internet defeat
Cable provider proud occupant driver’s seat

Amazing technology still scads inability control
Shopping trip cool off cessation feeling blood boil

Creative gal love crochet items since back-in-day
Drive near hour specific brand yarn sale underway

Unfamiliar territory avoid traffic side street turn off
Lucky me, a one-way and ahead approaching car – city cop


Flagged pullover in progress driver warning heeds
Overgrown tree branches hid traffic sign politely she pleads

Rethink out-of-town sales option save shopper oodles cash
Fortunate day honest error, no GPS, result drive humongous laugh.

https://lindaghill.com/2021/06/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-12-2021/




Can You Hear Me Now??

I don’t think I’ve been so frustrated as I am with today’s technology!!!!

You take a few days or weeks hiatus and you come back faced with quite

the challenge.

Wait a moment add an ‘s’ and make challenge plural CHALLENGES!!

All set to write I took a picture on my cell phone of a Sony Digital Voice

Recorder.

Yeah, today I don’t have to search for a picture. WRONG!!

Fine next idea try and find one by utilizing the search – HA, HA, HA!!

Exact four words ‘Sony Digital Voice Recorder’ and up pops captures of

every item possible ‘other‘ than a recorder.

Wow, look at those cell phones, selfie rings, keyboards, digital tapes,

microphones, etc.

Somehow I managed to brave this disappointing journey and ‘NOT‘ scream

out loud.

Who needs this stress??

Frustrated as a word I refrain from typing, I’ll finish up and leave this place.

I need to go for a walk before I open up the box containing said recorder.

Quick view – conclusion likelihood of more frustration ahead a ‘nine out

of tenfor the afternoon.

Do manufacturers of tech do this on purpose? I wonder if they’re in

cahoots with optometrists.

The wording is so small one needs a powerful magnifying glass.

Imagine I typed a ‘vent’ post without uttering a single word.

Somehow I practiced self-control therefore ‘NO‘ you didn’t hear me scream.

Sunday Poser #25

Today’s question: Are you easily embarrassed and what embarrasses you?

Throughout my youth the answer to the first portion of the posed question

was a definite ‘yes’.

As a child of an alcoholic father and a mother who suffered from the

undiagnosed mental disorder ‘agoraphobia’ I always felt like I wasn’t

good enough especially throughout my high school years.

Although an honor roll student, some friends’ parents frowned on

their child hanging out with me.

Interesting how adults can be so cruel to children.

Here I was a victim of society, wearing hand-me down clothes and

sadly placed in an unwanted category due to circumstances I didn’t

create, circumstances totally beyond any teenager’s control.

To the snobbish parents it didn’t matter that I was an honor-roll student

because after all their daughter was the head cheerleader.

Life isn’t always fair for certain – a lesson I learned early-on.

I vowed ‘never’ to repeat that pattern with my own family and I kept

that promise.

My youngest daughter was a member of the cheering squad at

the vocational high school she attended and head cheerleader

during her senior year.

All her friends, even some of different color, were welcome in my

home.

I never wanted any child to feel the wrath of embarrassment

bestowed upon me during my youth.

Clothes don’t make a person and today I dress according to how

I feel.

If I should decide to head out to the supermarket wearing my

jogging pants and a sweatshirt with no makeup and run into an

old acquaintance I don’t feel an iota of embarrassment.

To me a person’s clothing is not of the utmost importance anyway.

https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2021/04/25/sunday-poser-25/

Past Tired of Negatives

A few weeks ago I made a promise to myself to write ‘positive’ posts as people

either enjoy drama, disagree or flee from the follower count community.

I even gave my new project a title ‘Tapestry of My Life’ and then as usual

since walking from a relationship that drained my savings account ‘problems.

Perhaps in 2010 I wasn’t thinking thru the impulsive move that would soon

find me face-to-face with unbelievable dire effects void of actual solutions and

assistance.

Eleven years together and now we were arguing on a daily basis.

I wanted to escape.

I wanted to secure a residence.

The downfall in the economic situation led to my long term partner’s

sudden unemployment.

Our home was headed for foreclosure.

He frowned on working more local for one half his salary.

Although I understood the principle behind his thinking pattern, I had

no clue he was suffering from depression.

Rather I attributed his actions or inaction to lack of common sense as

to me some income was better than none.

I moved alright – from the frying pan into the fire!

Sadly, I regret the only impulsive decision I ever made (if correct) in

my entire life.

There’s a lesson here: “Give plenty of thought to what’s happening around

you, the future down the road and those who claim they’ll be there for you.”

I accessed my blog earlier to 1. participate in a prompt challenge and 2. to

share about when, how, with whom I started my ‘creative’ journey only my

thoughts took a 360 degree turn when noises arose from my kitchen sink.

No forewarning, no notifications of scheduled maintenance – basically no

clues unless one contacts the office with questions.

The downside of tenancy in an apartment complex from which the

likelihood of securing future residence appears to be next to nil at this time..

National Grammar Day – March 4th

Earlier this week I wrote a post – topic Mother’s loss of a child.

The next morning a medical news article stared me in the face – topic blood types.

Curious??

Yes of course I became anxious to learn which blood type found thru studies performed

may lower risk of severity or worse in the current health crisis.

The answer was RH negative, the alien DNA which only 15% of the population

worldwide (of which I’m one) possess = a minority in classes of blood factors.

Countless times the word ‘may’ appeared throughout this article which I did

read in its entirety.

Percentage of immunity??

Comforting words – I think not.

Wonderful I’d been reminded of another loss – a son taken from me before birth

year 1969 due to this blood factor.

Tears flowed..

I wondered how much more of these horrendous memories triggered by words

written I shall have to endure in this lifetime.

The reality is 100% cruel punishment as I recalled the before, during and aftermath

of giving birth to a stillborn son who’d passed two weeks prior to delivery.

My shoulders once strong from weightlifting are slowing weakening a combo of

lack of anaerobic exercise and emotional stress.

I tell myself ‘never give up’ – I read all those nice affirmations and inspirational quotes.

Reality – going it alone in Golden years ‘sucks’.

The past two days I’ve had no choice other than tend to errands – need of nourishment

and medicines.

Yesterday afternoon I finished reading the second psychological thriller novel by the

same author.

Today I took a long nap.


Now what on earth does all the above relate to?

Today while driving from one location to another, the country music station announcer

stated it was ‘National Grammar Day’.

I checked online and ‘yes’ March 4th is the designated day for grammar.

Uumm what about the word ‘may’ that appeared countless times in that article.

Turns out it’s a modal verb that’s used in conjunction with a main verb to

express possibility thereof.

Overwhelmed at this time, I ‘may’ decide to change from my former goal

and write about romantic fantasy.

After all the mind can wander to unknown places and dabbling in fiction

might be fun.

Forget-Me-Nots

This flower was one of several I chose to plant at my daughter’s

gravesite 25 years ago.

To me it symbolized a connection that lasts thru time, true and

undying love for a daughter whose life was taken way too soon.

Time passed; however, the ache of losing her still remains.

A parent’s nightmare!!

Germans coined the name of this flower and there’s a few myths

floating the hemisphere addressing its floral beauty.

One lovers’ myth, although quite sad, warmed my heart.

It read of two lovers walking the Danube River, spotting the bright

blue blossoms, the man’s desire to fetch some of these delicate

petite blue flowers with petals resembling the shape of a mouse’s ear

(cute tidbit of info) for the lady when suddenly swept up by the river.

As he was floating away at a distance he spoke the words to her

to ‘not forget him’.

Romantic!!

If someone asked me why I was writing this post the honest answer

would be, “I have no idea“.

Today isn’t one of those special days, the more painful ones

experienced by a Mother who has lost a child.

Thinking to myself perhaps the answer lies in an event that transpired

earlier today.

This morn’s social media journey was different as I chose to bypass

articles on my homepage’s slideshow.

Rather I headed over here to WordPress and read some truly

inspirational posts – a great start to a sunny, blustery day.

Before I shut down I accessed Facebook to tend to the garden I created

11 years and 5 months ago in memory of my daughter known to some

as TuffiMcGuffi.

In recent weeks the Fairyland app had been under maintenance.

Today it wasn’t listed on the sidebar and I couldn’t find a way to

access it.

Wonderful!!

Another creation taken from me without warning.

Needless to say although I shut the computer off and figured I’d wait

awhile to check back, my mood changed dramatically.






March 1st Mindset: Game Over

After reading eulogies on social media of two different men whom I know for fact

were underserving of positive statements written, I wondered if I had the the wrong

concept with regard to life or somehow had turned into a ‘Negative Nancy’.

I refrained from comment with a like, care and certainly not a love emoji. Rather I

bypassed the post and offered up no reply.

After all common sense to me is not build up the character of a man who left a

loving wife with four children, fled to the opposite side of the country, remarried,

started another family yet offered up not one cent for those four children nor the wife

left behind.

My memory storage bank still contains countless flashbacks of many difficult

days the woman endured fending for herself at such a young age

before a much younger man entered her life and helped raise those

children. In my opinion he was more deserving of the praise.

Talk about degrees of forgiveness!!

I thought – wow it’s fine to do ‘whatever’ and be remembered in

such a good light by two of four children you never met only recently

through FaceTime.

This is but one incident this past week that boggled my mind.

Curious, I looked up the definition of ‘Negative Nancy’ and found the

following warning signs:

  1. Constantly worrying – yes I worry a lot; however, I don’t think
    it’s overdone.

  2. World’s great pessimist – no since I offer up lots of support and positive
    compliments to family members, friends and virtual friends
    .
  3. Tendency to be oversensitive – ‘yes’ and have already learned
    behavioral patterns to combat those feelings
    .

4. You don’t go outside your comfort zone – not true since I’m open
to trying new hobbies – traveling alone (dislike – no choice).

5. Dwell on the past – years of family history in making don’t up and
disappear. Chasing out intrusive thoughts daily is tiresome though.

6. Trouble maintaining healthy relationships – that’s a tricky one to
address since each person’s mindset is quite different.


7. Not excited about the future – well when so much has been far
removed from your life, although you weren’t responsible for the
actions of others, it can be difficult to plan ahead taking into
consideration the age factor.


8. Frequently judge others – not exactly – rather listen, observe
and keep opinions to myself.


9. Don’t accept a compliment.
For years I’d always say ‘Thank you’ followed by ‘but’. I changed
as I aged and accept compliments freely.

10. Focus on problems – not solutions – doubtful since I’m constantly
in search of remedies (not always medical ones).


Overall I realize I’m far from Ms. Perfect and people can form their
own opinion(s) (good or not-so-good). It’s me who has to be happy with
herself.


Currently I’ve learned to treat people the same way they treat me – a
blessing in disguise
for me.



JusJoJan – Day 4

Yeah!!

I managed to copy this year’s image and find a new pathway to post it here.

If correct, I believe it’s okay not to stick to a specific topic. Rather than research

directions under dim light I opted to wait for a day with bright sunshine.

Thus today’s contribution is about my early morning personal computer

experience.

After taking my 1st med of the day (Thyroid) with a full glass of water I’m

not supposed to eat for the next 30 minutes so the medicine can work its’

magic while thinning my crop of used-to-be thick hair, a most wonderful

side effect.

In the past I’d access my computer and lose track of time. Afterwards I’d

experience a gnawing gut feeling – aggravation at myself for not paying

better attention to the clock.

To rectify this situation I chose to mark the start time and shut down after

30 minutes no matter what site my mouse pointer was set thereon.

It’s called discipline!!

Today I scanned news articles on my homepage and settled for one which

within its’ title incorporated the words ‘greediest state in America’.

The fun began . . . LOL

One would think the answer would be at least at the end of the news article.

Wrong!!

Another link to ‘most dishonest’ followed by ‘loneliest’, ‘most dangerous’,

‘most party-friendly’ (drunkest state) and I stopped at ‘most promiscuous’.

With allotted computer time nearing end I backtracked. I couldn’t believe I’d

missed the pictures below the articles.

Then I plain laughed at myself as the answer to the first article was divulged to me.

Done – not yet.

I figured I’d place the question of ‘what’s the most’ followed by the info I desired to

learn in the search engine.

Bingo! Immediate response(s).

One more question OMG I don’t know where this thought found its’ way into

my head.

Dare I ask for an answer. Uumm!!

‘What brand of toilet paper does a certain politician use?’

Refraining from names here.

To my surprise his picture is on rolls of toilet tissue and wipes for sale online – no

bargain price though.

The 30 minute session ended with sheer laughter – a gag gift – a loo roll – a most

hilarious novelty prank present.

Rated 4.4 out of 5 stars.

Dump on ______________________ (fill in the blank).

Laughing out loud again.

#JusJoJan prompt the 1st – “Fingertips”

New Year’s Resolution 2021

As each year begins people everywhere make countless well-intentioned

resolutions.

Some are the same old ones and others brand new.

A member of the women’s club to which I belong had a new suggestion – one

ne’er seen, heard of nor thought about before.

She came up with a brand-new idea – ‘What to NEVER’ do again.

Creation of an “ANTI-BUCKET LIST’.

Thus rather than create a list of resolutions (most which doubtful most continue

for a lengthy period of time) let’s create a list of not-to-dos.

We ladies thought our friend’s idea (although different) was both interesting and

doable.

Now tis time to think of Top 10s.

Hoping my list will create lots of chuckles.

I can’t wait for we ladies to share our thoughts.

Laughing out loud as I type this – already idea good for the soul.