Smiles are Contagious

When I arrived at the crossroads of self-assessment, I felt

relieved as though I’d finished another fun aerobics class

or conclusion of one more session with my personal

trainer.

In retrospect I remember my gym days especially due to

the fact my combo instructor – personal trainer was a

loved family member, my youngest son.

Five to six days per week after classes I overheard an

enormous amount of positive chit-chat from women

in the locker room ’bout their favorite instructor.

‘Women of all ages love a handsome man with a good

physique.’

Hilarious to me was how the title role ‘Mom’ had been
given to another with graying hair, an assumption.

Although class participants knew Mom showed up on a

daily basis, they never inquired as to which older woman

was actually the instructor’s mother.

For months my son and I played out this ‘unknown truth’

scenario quite well and then the unexpected happened,

true revelation.

Some ladies were quite embarrassed due to descriptive

adjectives spoken betwixt them in conversations and

thought it necessary to apologize to me.

Smile! Smile!

Reflecting back my thoughts were:

  1. I’m thrilled you ladies love my son.
  2. Your hilarious comments weren’t offensive to me.

We all shared a good laugh!!

Twenty-four years ago he decided to follow his dream.

His move overseas left me filled with mixed emotions.

The past month when amid my exercises on self-love

I learned it was okay to feel both happy and sad about

his relocation.

Some decisions a parent has to often unwillingly accept.

For me acceptance changed to acceptance with gratitude.




Alcoholism – Effects on Innocents

Alcoholism – a dependence syndrome touched my life from birth until recent times.

My father was a full-blown alcoholic (a man I loved in spite of his addiction). His

days started with his house painting job and ended when the corner bar closed.

For certain this had a multitude of negative effects on my life, from living

arrangements to bullied by classmates for wearing another girl’s hand-me down clothes.

The supposed friend boasted daily about her clothing now being worn by one far

less fortunate, me.

Yes, it’s quite interesting what the mind remembers from years ago.

In my teen years at parties I’d watched my Cape Verdean boyfriend consume booze

until he actually became physically sick. I couldn’t figure out the connection as why

a fairly smart handsome young man would participate in such an activity.

I was one of the few ‘bystanders’ at parties – no way – no thanks – upchucking was

definitely not for me.

Years later I married a man whose family owned two bars. On Friday nights he’d

bartender at one for extra income. He knew better than drink all the freebies

the patrons purchased for him; he was really good at pretend and placed the cash

in a jar.

Time marched on and urban development took the bars and a new adventure

on the scene, a kitchen and lounge. For a few years weekends I waitressed the

kitchen side along with my oldest daughter. I was the nominee due to age factor

venturing over to the lounge whenever a customer requested an alcoholic

beverage.

Did I ever consume alcohol? Yes, three glasses of mixed sweet beverages

to keep hydrated throughout so many Saturday nights, a sip here ‘n there

and right back out on the dance floor.

My marital home contained a good-sized liquor cabinet; however I’m

thankful I never had the desire to indulge in other than the occasional

glass of wine served with dinner and iced cold beer (disliked taste) at

family barbecues.

Perhaps it was my outlook on life ‘don’t want my family to experience

my youth’ since a high percentage follow in their parent(s) footsteps.

This disease as it’s referred has touched many members of my former

family and sad to learn details of each one’s battle and how their life

crumbled as refusal help leaves little loved ones can do for them.

A little twist here – a man from my hometown I met on a dating site.

The first evening we dined out I noticed his glassy eyes only thought

little of them since it was winter and quite cold outdoors. With his

dinner he ordered a beer then another. I dated him on and off for

a period of three years (platonic dates since via his own words I

was a nice woman and he a player).

He suffered from OCD and issues with anxiety thus kept his dates

fairly local. Eventually he told me his story over a three-hour Chinese

meal. He drank due to the loss of his mother at a young age. I

encouraged him to seek help; however my attempts were in vain

One day I plain tired of his games, we parted ways and no

longer communicate via phone nor e-mail messages.

Done!

There’s a valid reason for my writing this post today. A few

months ago I interacted with someone from the creator app my

family has been working for near four years.

The man’s lip synching evoked emotions within me, a gal who’d

pretty much managed to numb out her feelings on life in general.

We became virtual friends and he shared parts of his life, his

treatment and the mechanisms of day-to-day life and the

12-step journey.

I researched a bit and tried my best to let him know how

valuable life is and share with him how at times we all suffer

from degrees of depression.

Then without warning he chose to shut me out – OUCH. My

beautiful inspirational quotes were delivered, perhaps he did

read them only the messenger app’s gray check with a white

tick alerted me to the fact I was being ignored.

This was the end of another journey for me and like before

in the end it was I who’d experience anguish at the loss of a friend.

I’ve vowed never to repeat this pattern again unless the person

with the problem is an actual ‘immediate’ family member.

I’d been warned, I didn’t listen and even at this late stage in

life the wrath of rejection following good deeds is quite hurtful.

Technology Amusement Week

Hobby writing show colossal potential
Daily blog contributions deem essentials

Humorous finale writer's amusement week
Days forced false pretense 'computer geek'

Story rose forth morning shut laptop off
Afternoon creepie-peepie show user who's boss

Dumbfounded writer stare decluttered PC screen
Mysterious mischief-maker high percent icons wipe clean

Thankful capable antivirus software run full scan
Finished window pop-up message 'no' threats ma'am

Challenge ahead hours seek and find alternate paths
Progress satisfaction then happen unbelievable aftermath

Fell asleep prior normal nightly computer shutdown
Awaken 3:00 a.m. surprise view old screen back in town

Affirmations, messages state never give up one's dreams
Beginning think find new hobby avoid computer flimflams.

© 2018 June Quintin








Shambles

Virtual garden freeze
Profile deactivation please

Grown tired of fakes
Unsightly gruesome flakes

Feelings concrete shutdown
Desire grieve solely shown

Innermost feelings reflect
Questionable faith conflict

Capacity full emotional space
Memories loss 23 years ago face

Compassion, empathy, reality
Continual loss no fun actuality

Never expect anything from anyone
Expectations seem always hurt someone.

© 2018 June Quintin




 










Greatest Loss

Witchy warts
Friend cohorts

Group name
Deceased game

Children pass
All flabbergast

Promises made
Failure shades

Wonder words
Reality absurd 

Observe skin
Ask question

Leper spots
Thankful not

Walk shoes
Similar few

Refrain some
Fear outcome

Speak thou
Petrified how

Unknown call
Doubtful befall

Comparable chance
Conversation acquaintance

Unseen marks
Tearful sparks

Clothes cover
Zilch discover

Once, twice
Stifling price

Inconceivable learn
Betrayal turn

Children lose
Warts pursue

God's test
Faithful rest.

© 2018 June Quintin








Sudden Death

Totally unprepared
Lifetime void ahead

Unforeseen unfold
Sadness twofold

Immeasurable grief
Deprivation sleep

Documents time-stamped
Freedom transparent

Precarious solution
Bogus affirmation

Thoughtful wise
Choices criticize

Counteract emotional pain
Self-help lists ascertain

Benevolent smiles
Preparations worthwhile

Positivity emphasis
Current life's focus

Curveballs thrown attention
Access personal list collection

Love transplant
Selfless apparent

Spring flowers blossom
Thankful beauty awesome.

© 2018 June Quintin

Innocence of Youth

Previous laughter therapy post good health conducive
First find morn's social media post read an exclusive

Surprise Grandma!

Glaring back at me from personal laptop screen
Cutest love note of late admit senior citizen seen

Folded paper before eyes filled stars 'n hearts
"Will you be my boyfriend" questionable start

Following number clicks likes, loves 'n wows
Humorous subsequent friendly comments continue flow

Grandson asked where he'd take girl on first date
McDonald's fast food restaurant response quick relate

Takes me back in time to own sweet innocence of youth
Patiently wait conversation update soul soothe booth.

© 2018 June Quintin

 

Grandma’s 1st Fur Grandbaby

Official greeter
Daughter's house
Black 'n white Boston Terrier
Giver 'n taker love reception kisses

Kind intellectual expressions
Eyes large dark 'n round
Reliable watchdog gentle breed selection
Capability melt coldest heart around

Fairly lightweight 'n short-tailed
Smooth fine-textured coat
Attitude 'n description entailed
Overall fur grandbaby's good traits grannie wrote

Grandchildren's lovable cuddle-bug terrier
'Yes' demander visitor's acknowledgement
Warm socialistic behavior y'all carrier
Incredible gift 'joy' brought thru happy temperament.

© 2017 June Quintin