Difficult Times

Unbelievable!!

Sitting before computer feeling numb

Decorated Police Sergeant crossed over

Age 52 battle with Covid-19 succumb

Those left behind now broken-hearted

Grief journey begins mourning departed

A firm believer in the Lord questions


Online she watches funeral procession

For those who actually live with someone

Give thanks no idea feeling nights lonesome

Please don’t complain about caddy stuff

Result older woman possibility high throw up

Those who have lost loved ones understand me


Fact two children reside in Heaven unknowns quickly flee


Lately I wonder why God chose a keep me here plan


Renewed zest for living follow major operation stolen

Prepared emotionally,, spiritually obvious not chosen time

Aftermath prisoner intrusive thoughts spite ne’er commit crime

Down-trodden broken-hearted alone this cruel world daily face

Ask Lord reveal reason why actual timing deceit surface

Anger, bitterness ‘n resentment overwhelm
ed fight depression

Inner struggle desire overcome worse should go route confession

No idea if occasional writing reading between lines posts still therapeutic

Guess best keep quiet refrain reveal truth late stage in life serves no purpose

To divulge dirty secrets cause much personal familial strife
and critique

My cross to bear non-wish others burden thanks to real life reveal composer

Death of a Child – Heartbreaking

June 25th – year 1995
Age 28 – too young to die

Daughter’s three-day ICU stay
Prayed, cried – reality God-awful day

Final tests taken Mother recalls
Results received inhouse hospital call

Nurses’ station stand listened intently
Aware eyes on me curious watch reaction relentlessly

Somehow managed though difficult hold composure
Return room – shut door – punch walls – scream – no Lord!

A quarter century ago life changed for numerous loved ones
To date we think, we cry, we miss you – days even feelings numb

Moments in time on Earth smile, recollect with pride so special
Today as usual I pray you’re dancing in Heaven amidst all the Angels

 

 

Tick Tock – Sounds of the Clock

Today’s travels

Worldwide web sites

Dreadful informative ugh – sigh

Enjoyment places happiness – delights

Welcome family member’s lengthy phone call

Walked required distance logged for daily exercise afterall

Before sunny daylight turn into darkness night

Preparation healthy dinner cuisine to-do list highlight

Unfortunate morning blogging notes ‘n thoughts on hold

Timespan writing warmth turn bittersweet ice-cube cold

Countdown days three-two-one remembrance saga learn daughter ne’er grow old

 

 

 

 

Writing Prompt Day 21 – She was the Sun

Dahlia pink
Full bloom
Reminiscence
She bride - he groom

Green thumbs
Tenderers plants
Mass border 'n raised beds 
Cultivators chasers insects ants 

Country residents
Summer recreation treat
Variety skills learn
Growers veggies 'n flowers colorful sweet

She was the sun
Soft warm 'n brilliant
Sudden loss now bereaved
Mascara tears stain face rare comment

Gone fore'er days
Garden seeds seedlings homegrown
Present future unsettled
Sun was the sun questions answer monotone.

© 2019 June Quintin
 
July 2019 Writing Prompts




Picture Search – Found Myself

Rarely do I complain; I’d rather be a positive supporter. 

I’ve had my share (more than some less than others) of unfortunate life’s circumstances.

Social media networking has been quite therapeutic for me as well as writing for a hobby.

Today I found a good description of myself in the above picture – gal who has yet to manage putting the puzzle pieces together.

Losing someone you love dearly is difficult – losing one or more of your children far worse.

Listed below is a partial list of symptoms of grief I deal with to this day / night.

  •  Segmented sleep pattern
  •  Appetite changes 
  •  Difficulty concentrating for extended periods 
  •  Crying versus bothered and upset yet numbed out
  •  Social isolation  (fought this) 
  •  Anxiety attacks out of nowhere
  •  Depression – off and on
  •  Nightmares 
  •  List goes on

Inspirational messages and shared affirmations are definitely nice – momentarily only though as when alone one can sink into a pit of despair. 

I’ve no idea why some people have so much strength while others complain about the most trivial matters. 

If I could change places I’d opt out of being a Mother who lost children. It’s grief that never goes away.

Few Know The Struggle Within

Alone sits with grief
Stares in space disbelief
Lost place consider home
Commence again self alone
Unknown exact path turn
Remembrances forevermore yearn
Comparisons generate depression
Positives accept – disallow dat culprit win
Dismiss numerous intrusive sad thoughts
Countless shreds happiness future straightaway sought.

© 2019 June Quintin