Catholicism gal's chosen religion First attempt membership age eleven Tagged along friends' sign-up Catechism Oops! Parent's signature requirement registration Requested paperwork in hand return home Met with answer 'no' found self standing alone Residence two homes from beautiful church Sunday dress-up certain attend religious worship Age eighteen full ambition study topic religion Official journey underway pathway promise heaven Five decades later confusion how individual proceed Apparent now worldly Smorgasbord Catholics supersede Forty days 'n nights comprise annual season Lent Time sinners think thoughts 'bout actual process repent Favorite country tune's popular lyrics ring true Tell me why - tell me what supposed do feeling blue Few understand scenarios faced 'n walked through Compassion and empathy fellow men failure anew Watched afar life built slowly fell apart Wonder location visit mend person's broken heart Sincere attempt continue believe amidst topic loss Show of faith comfort winner - refuse allow tragedy boss Ash Wednesday thru Easter observe annual Lenten season Gal occasionally sit with thoughts ponder 'why' reasons Nightly serving waffle cone ice cream only real vice Managing 2018's decision Lenten's personal sacrifice In spite situation thankful for each 'n every day Adhere advice 'forgive enemies - continue to pray'. © June Quintin 2018
Grief Process Revelation
Twenty-two years ago I said a final ‘Good-bye’ to my 28-year old daughter. Five years later my 35-year marriage ended in divorce. In order to heal I had to process these major losses.
I experienced all five stages of grief, working through them and on occasion found myself re-visiting a few. Time doesn’t exactly heal the wounds, rather you learn to live without those you love and your life changes forever.
This year I met a man I thought ‘perhaps’ would fill the void since we appeared quite compatible. Although selective I’d made a wrong choice.
Our short-term relationship dissolved Memorial Day weekend. The smiling, bubbly gal became the quiet, reserved woman amidst friends and acquaintances similar to years ago.
I had no idea I’d be experiencing grief again. A little research revealed that with each loss the hurt can become worse and thus the reason I sank into a mild depression.
He wanted to remain on a friendship basis with me only I felt if I wasn’t good enough to date anymore then I’d best refrain from any form of contact especially since he made it perfectly clear no chance we’d ever be a couple again in the future.
And thus I went from denial to anger to bargaining. Following came the depression and now I can honestly say, “I’m over him.”
I vow no more chasing dreams via online dating. It’s perfectly okay to be single status. Will I date? Yes. Moving on in the world of blogging with new topics that fill my heart with joy. Adios relationship complications!
A text versus an actual phone call resulted in heartbreak. My reply with various not-so-nice words a man would rather not hear either hurt you or freed you up to not face the task of collateral damage yourself. We’re over!
Ours was a rollercoaster romance – even I ran hot and cold on you. There were valid reasons that most woman would flee from at first site – only your good traits were my focus.
One hundred percent is what I offered up only to be shut out when those desperate incoming phone calls for cash blew up your cell phone accompanied by numerous frantic e-messages on social network.
You chose to punish me, the gal who was there for you in areas your own family members failed you. You didn’t want to have a conversation. You didn’t want to share. Instead you’d rather sit home, become unkempt and smoke weed.
I was supposed to be understanding always. Honestly I’ll never know the mechanisms of thinking of the male mind.
You never really tore me down via altercation rather you let my heart drop to the floor. Yes, I was one pissed off woman with good reason. Lack of communication.
A few days pass and you decide you want to be just friends – OUCH! No re-dos? I didn’t think one could cross back over the line from lover to friends especially when a breakup is fresh and I still have feelings for you.
Okay, I thought I’d give it a try in hopes you’d have a change of heart. Hmmm…one hopeless romantic. I erred.
Two weeks pass and realization is tis pointless to waste another iota of my precious time on you. The severance of ties completely is what I need to heal.
In honesty if you had cared you’d have made an effort to fix us. It’s evident now my gut feeling all along was right on – you are a player who taught me a good lesson – one not to be repeated in the future.
Next time, I’ll pay much closer to mixed signals.
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