Alcoholism – Effects on Innocents

Alcoholism – a dependence syndrome touched my life from birth until recent times.

My father was a full-blown alcoholic (a man I loved in spite of his addiction). His

days started with his house painting job and ended when the corner bar closed.

For certain this had a multitude of negative effects on my life, from living

arrangements to bullied by classmates for wearing another girl’s hand-me down clothes.

The supposed friend boasted daily about her clothing now being worn by one far

less fortunate, me.

Yes, it’s quite interesting what the mind remembers from years ago.

In my teen years at parties I’d watched my Cape Verdean boyfriend consume booze

until he actually became physically sick. I couldn’t figure out the connection as why

a fairly smart handsome young man would participate in such an activity.

I was one of the few ‘bystanders’ at parties – no way – no thanks – upchucking was

definitely not for me.

Years later I married a man whose family owned two bars. On Friday nights he’d

bartender at one for extra income. He knew better than drink all the freebies

the patrons purchased for him; he was really good at pretend and placed the cash

in a jar.

Time marched on and urban development took the bars and a new adventure

on the scene, a kitchen and lounge. For a few years weekends I waitressed the

kitchen side along with my oldest daughter. I was the nominee due to age factor

venturing over to the lounge whenever a customer requested an alcoholic

beverage.

Did I ever consume alcohol? Yes, three glasses of mixed sweet beverages

to keep hydrated throughout so many Saturday nights, a sip here ‘n there

and right back out on the dance floor.

My marital home contained a good-sized liquor cabinet; however I’m

thankful I never had the desire to indulge in other than the occasional

glass of wine served with dinner and iced cold beer (disliked taste) at

family barbecues.

Perhaps it was my outlook on life ‘don’t want my family to experience

my youth’ since a high percentage follow in their parent(s) footsteps.

This disease as it’s referred has touched many members of my former

family and sad to learn details of each one’s battle and how their life

crumbled as refusal help leaves little loved ones can do for them.

A little twist here – a man from my hometown I met on a dating site.

The first evening we dined out I noticed his glassy eyes only thought

little of them since it was winter and quite cold outdoors. With his

dinner he ordered a beer then another. I dated him on and off for

a period of three years (platonic dates since via his own words I

was a nice woman and he a player).

He suffered from OCD and issues with anxiety thus kept his dates

fairly local. Eventually he told me his story over a three-hour Chinese

meal. He drank due to the loss of his mother at a young age. I

encouraged him to seek help; however my attempts were in vain

One day I plain tired of his games, we parted ways and no

longer communicate via phone nor e-mail messages.

Done!

There’s a valid reason for my writing this post today. A few

months ago I interacted with someone from the creator app my

family has been working for near four years.

The man’s lip synching evoked emotions within me, a gal who’d

pretty much managed to numb out her feelings on life in general.

We became virtual friends and he shared parts of his life, his

treatment and the mechanisms of day-to-day life and the

12-step journey.

I researched a bit and tried my best to let him know how

valuable life is and share with him how at times we all suffer

from degrees of depression.

Then without warning he chose to shut me out – OUCH. My

beautiful inspirational quotes were delivered, perhaps he did

read them only the messenger app’s gray check with a white

tick alerted me to the fact I was being ignored.

This was the end of another journey for me and like before

in the end it was I who’d experience anguish at the loss of a friend.

I’ve vowed never to repeat this pattern again unless the person

with the problem is an actual ‘immediate’ family member.

I’d been warned, I didn’t listen and even at this late stage in

life the wrath of rejection following good deeds is quite hurtful.

Enlightenment – Re-blogged from July 2017

Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart – an eye opener for online daters looking for an exclusive long-term relationship. Although far from impossible to interact with a potential new partner who shares similar interests on a dating site, it’s quite time-consuming to complete the discovery process. Me, […]

via Enlightenment — jaquintinwriter

Unforeseen Makeup Malfunction

Invited guest
Graduation fest
Happenstance next
Total hilarious best

Standard morning routine
Makeup matching skin tone
Dab white here dab white there
Yikes recognition self nowhere 

Regain composure careful thought
Apartment temperature quite hot
Globs makeup flow from tube color white
Normal blends skin color medium hue light

Member Caucasian race
Mirror reflection scary face
Mime stares back at me
Unusual reaction unimaginable foresee

Thankful recent purchase extra makeup
Who'd thought heat create ingredients break-up
Bottle versus tube lesson product guarantee
Natural look anti-aging return correct shade Whoopee!

© 2019 June Quintin











 



 
 

Can You Find Me?

Hello Y’all . . .

It’s been awhile!

Unfortunately the desire to continue my writing hobby came to a screeching halt one third way thru the November writing challenge.

Fifty thousand words seemed like a breeze until the daily commitment of even the average word count became a chore.

I vowed not to feel bad about the incompletion of the project and keep a positive attitude. It was a learning experience for me. I dislike writing fiction. The real world is where I shall reside forever.

Can you find me in the picture?

I’m the birdie looking back rather than forward. Why? Life dealt me many harsh blows during the past three decades.  Lots of major issues to process.

Wow, did I learn lessons about human behavior. You never really knows what’s in another’s mind. It’s like everyone is a stranger in disguise.

Death, divorce and deceit – a triple ‘D’ deal to process. It seemed as though I was walking thru a personal hell in order to get to the other side.

Although I started my blog for therapeutic reasons, I rarely discuss personal details. Why? Few would truly care and others love to plain gossip and embellish another’s unfortunate circumstances.

By the grace of the Lord I managed to survive thus far. Another challenge awaits me. The last chapter of my life – surviving alone.

When you are young it’s much easier to find or replace a partner due to death or divorce. The inventory is rather sparse for a senior citizen and with each birthday the possibility seems somewhat dimmer.

Dating sites are overpopulated with men who misrepresent themselves in numerous ways. They write or say what women wish to hear then like snakes turn on the decent ones.

I lived it. I’d rather keep my dignity and dine with my female acquaintances or family members than pay for my meals via offering up a ‘yes’ answer to a man’s request for that three-letter word ~ sex.

Today’s world certainly has become quite difficult for the genuine woman. Entering into a new normal relationship appears non-existent unless the Lord blesses me with a miracle.

Dare I refer to existence and new attitude as a ‘farce’? I think I shall do that in a quick acrostic poem.

F riendly smile
lways wondering
acing against time day ‘n night
ontinually maintaining semblance normalcy
mbracing new tech state of affairs wholeheartedly

© 2019 June Quintin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Contemptible Fella

Rearview mirror resemblance vulture
Upshot origin badass behavioral culture

Parallelism buzzard high perch tree out of sight
Male sits facing computer screen awaiting exploit

Combination old pics and text bundled pack lies
Misrepresentations self seek vulnerable preys, sigh

Pretext long term relationship hopeful attracts
Genuine women, money plus multitude self-satisfacts 

Clever conception plus facetious expressions 
Relax scorned women conceal deep-seated aggressions

Inevitable future bait and switch reciprocate
Drama free serendipity twist of fate anticipate.

© 2018 June Quintin







  











Revelation

Today's prompt be rather powerful
Incorporate boundary personal world

By virtue of 'crystal clear consolations'
Utterance loved one's excellent affirmations

Ruination overshadow beautiful yesterdays
Flat refusal further down road opportunities

Declutter, eradicate concentrated visionaries
Exterminate, destruct overwhelming memories 

Comfort knowledge retain persona self-respect
Mixed feelings admission degree be lowlife met

Written off friendship forevermore non-exist
Categorize in perpetuity non-entity persists.

© 2018 June Quintin

Writing prompt: crystal clear consolations

https://puttingmyfeetinthedirt.com/2018/05/06/may-writing-prompts/