Setting Boundaries

A wakeup call for me, although late in life, was still a

wakeup call.

The genuine attempt to help a person in AA recovery

led me via his sudden rejection down the path of self-

discovery.

I qualify as a co-dependent, a label I always thought

pertained to people with addictions.

The factors in place were ones I thought were healthy.

Wrong!

A person with Type A personality demands perfection

of themselves and needs to understand it’s okay to be

perfectly imperfect.

The two-letter word ‘NO’ seems not to be in their long

list of vocabulary words because they fear rejection.

He or she needs to learn it’s impossible to fix everything

in life and realize it’s not their responsibility.

Bingo – spot on!

This is where the wall of boundaries started to exist.

I began to decline requests void now of feeling any

pangs of guilt.

Sometimes a process appears to be an easy one only

once you actually practice it there’s a strong possibility

of negative repercussions from fake friends, even family

members.

To feel loved I allowed myself to be taken advantage of

to the point of resentment.

Wow – another wakeup call.

The difference now, based on work done on the self-love

journey, is the perception of how I view myself. Those who

suddenly chose to become absent from my life when I

politely declined their requests most likely were never

truly in my corner, rather mere takers.

The decisions how I prioritize my time at this stage of

life need to be favorable to me.

To set the record straight I intend to treat true

friends in the same mannerisms as before while

I slowly remove from my life those who possess

narcissistic traits.

Although a rude awakening, the boundaries I set

in place have actually brought me peace of mind.

A Most Ungrateful Woman

The suggestion to limit time spent on social media

on my self-care journey has worked wonders for me.

Minimalization a.k.a. de-clutter – a 30-day challenge.

Although I did delete apps I didn’t wish to trash my

personal work.

On Facebook I deactivated two specific pages. One

showed transferred blogging posts and the other

years of items crafted.

My budgeted allowance is 30 minutes each morn.

I begin by tending to my Fairyland in memory of

garden app (12 years, 3 months old) then scan the

notifications from my hometown groups (good to

remain knowledgeable ’bout current local events).

Next and last is a quick scroll of the newsfeed with

a limit of ten post reads.

This morn I was flabbergasted. I sat closer to the

laptop’s screen in order to re-read a post written

IMO by a most ungrateful woman. I suppose she

was looking for sympathy from other women.

I rarely comment on posts like these in groups.

Avoid drama!

The content of the post – several paragraphs

with regard to her husband’s increased

workload (40 to 60 hours) due to the Pandemic.

This woman, a widow after 43 years of marriage

within two years found a man who doesn’t smoke

nor drink and actually WORKS.

She was considering leaving him since quality

time shared was now a bare minimum of three

hours each evening (supper and watching TV).

Ladies made comments only they were totally

opposite of what she appeared to be in search

thereof.

The post had been up for an hour when the

administrator suddenly shut it down.

I wonder if this woman would like to endure

the alternative, ‘living alone’.

A New Way of Thinking

If the mountain seems too big today
then climb a hill instead

If the morning brings you sadness
it’s okay to stay in bed

If the day ahead weighs heavy
and your plans feel like a curse

There’s no shame in rearranging
don’t make yourself feel worse

If a shower stings like needles
and a bath feels like you’ll drown

If you haven’t washed your hair for days
don’t throw away your crown

A day is not a lifetime
a rest is not defeat

Don’t think of it as failure
just a quiet, kind retreat

It’s okay to take a moment
from an anxious, fractured mind

The world will not stop turning
while you get realigned

The mountain will still be there
when you want to try again

You can climb it in your own time
just LOVE yourself until then.

~ Author Unknown

Prayer – Religion – Over the Years

These days I rarely utilize my computer during evening hours.

I’ve grown tired of all the hype and fear instilled within thanks to social media.

The news app on my cell phone constantly dings with near 100 percent negative

articles.

Windows 10 updated and ‘Hello’ a new challenge with more decision-making

ahead.

This morn I downloaded a pic of a beautiful crocheted granny square only

to discover hours later I’m unable to proceed as ‘I wish’.

It’s evident I’m in control of zilch at this point until I piece together yet

another puzzle.

I’ve come to the conclusion life known ‘n created now phase non-existence.

I don’t understand!! 

Little makes sense anymore.

I ponder thoughts:

Better to safeguard wholesome feelings still within ‘heart’

Settle ‘good try’ leave incomplete unfulfilled dream ‘depart’

Seek new direction versus continue move forward ‘restart’

Mirror reflections tenure life ne’er consider self be ‘quitter’

Troublesome times worldwide persona creation ’embitter’

Conclusion – pen words persevere forward personal ‘transmitter’

As a reader you may wonder how the contents of this post relate to the title.

The story began with an innocent young girl’s desire to join and participate

in Catechism class.

At registration she was handed a form which required her parents’ permission.

Returning home with much anticipation for the signature to learn Catholicism 

she found herself face-to-face with negativity void of explanation. 

Answer: ‘NO!’

Although she wasn’t allowed to attend weekly CCD class, she proceeded each 

week to dress in her Sunday best and attend Mass. 

Who knew??

One day many years later, married with children of her own, she’d be teaching 

religion from her home to young students.

That girl was ‘ME’.

Although life’s circumstances changed in recent years (not for the better), I’ll

continue to maintain my beliefs until I no longer exist here on Earth and can

rest in God’s arms. 

 

 

 

 

Bi-Monthly Grocery Shopping Trip

Game
Emotional drain
Complaints listen
Reactions refrain

Shopping
Disinfect cart
Proceed down aisles
Direction arrows mark

Rules
Fools refuse abide
Mask wearers shock
Sad no where to hide

Shelves
Paper goods bare
Question store clerk
Status future up in air

Unbelievable
Social isolation in place
Somehow sudden loss faith
As new norm population face

Tired
Supermarket ‘n errands
Once routine turn distress
Thankful return own safe haven


 

 

 

Depression – Empty Feelings

Realization and admission of factors set me back – impossible move forward path.

Tired of all the bull-crap people peddle seems like each forgot wear rubber boots

before dancing in puddles. 

It’s hard to admit defeat – always thought continue the struggle – win – beat.

Tis not I consider self a failure; tis trying to do too much late in life alone well

competition difficult for one-man band.

I’ve read the posts written about events of people’s weeks – interesting some

complain while others embellish.

I’m onboard with knowledge of people prefer positivity over negativity only

a certain few need to get grips on own reality.  

Life seems easier for the rich – harder for the middle class.

Does that any longer actually exist?

I empathize with the minority folk extremely poor.

The percentage of humans suffering due to circumstances beyond their control

continues to grow – a first morning read facts untold.

Scrolled down to find a well-written article on the topic of the global

virus beginning to hit close to home in the states – no concern social status.

It’s truly scary – people worldwide panic-stricken – actual number of victims risen.

When shopping in recent days I’ve witnessed people wearing masks.

Try not overthink since reasons why crossed my mind be measure precautionary 

Versus someone been in close contact with infected person possibility.

Went on to read an article about a benign illness my own body had succumbed to

back in the 90s. Various thoughts ran thru my head due to words I read – really?

An actual patient educated with facts I was quite shocked to read some words

because I questioned those written facts.

Unbelievable but true: 

I actually was thankful when my computer malfunctioned – usual an occurrence

often dread.

Well I’ve blogged today – no prompts rather lots of random thoughts. 

With that I’ll leave you with a beautiful picture-perfect inspirational quote

which could be the front of a Hallmark card uncertain what occasion though

‘Thinking of You’ how nice: 

 

quote about life from unknown author

 

 

 

 

Sunday Writing Prompt “Life Changing”

I think back to elementary school years and a special teacher who took interest in

me and my home life situation. 

By today’s standards I definitely grew up in a dysfunctional family. 

This teacher graduated with me each year as she moved up to teach the next grade.

On Saturdays she held French classes in her home and I was able to attend free of

charge – yes, the poor of the parish with hand-me-down clothes, a father who 

drank away his weekly paycheck leaving only enough money for bare necessities  

and a mother who people referred to as different. 

Years later after graduation from high school I included this teacher on my 

wedding invitation list. 

She did attend the church ceremony; however she passed on the afternoon

reception.

For years each Christmas she sent me a beautiful card – inclusive were 

words of encouragement.

I presume she saw in me what I didn’t see within myself – power to succeed

and from best I can recall she wrote ‘never give up on your dreams no matter

your age’.

I managed to accomplish quite a bit within my life amid personal struggles.

In the early 70s while in conversation with the primary builder of my 

marital home I mentioned a dream goal I’d hope to attain in the future.

The man’s response was nearly the same wording as my favorite teacher

from elementary school. 

Sadly dreams don’t always come true; however, I learned to substitute and 

be thankful for that which I was able to accomplish. 

The alternative for my craft shop was a stay-at-home sewing venture that

supplemented my fixed income.

From 10:00 a.m. through 2:00 to 3:00 p.m. I’d sew dancewear and 

custom made-to-order outfits. 

The hand-made items were sold to people I knew, online and at my 

hometown’s yearly craft fair.

In year 2017 totally retired from crunching numbers and sewing for $$ I started

blogging more and during the past few years made some nice virtual friends.

Sitting at the kitchen table this morn eating breakfast I reflected on a few of the

morning reads.

At my age I’m not certain if I wish to continue blogging in hopes of publishing a

book before the Lord calls me home.

Perhaps blogging and being able to place the word ‘writer’ following my name is

as close to being an author that’s in God’s plans. 

It’s not that I’m giving up 100 percent – more like I need to do what makes

me happy.

Thus I have thought of returning to my love of crafts in hopes of earning a

few extra bucks.

Sunday Writing Prompt “Life Changing”

 

 

 

 

An Icon of the 80s – Pac-man

This morn for fun I attempted to research a game my son, a computer geek, managed

to get me hooked on. 

Years ago this woman with children played the Japanese arcade game released back 

in the 80s until wee hours of the morn.

I digress.

Fast forward life to year 2020 and newfound self-awareness.

At a different chapter of life a.k.a. last chapter I find tis in my own best interests

to implement some social media changes. 

Similar to Pac-man who travelled the maze trying to eat dots while avoiding mean

ghosts, I feel the need to purge – disconnect from fake friends on FB and WP followers

who don’t follow their own written words with regards to guidelines and friendships. 

Time is precious and I prefer to share it amidst sincere folk whom I can count on

to be there in both good and bad times.

Prioritization 101.

I’ve made my list of those nice bloggers with whom I interact either daily or weekly. 

They are my virtual friends and  I sincerely hope to continue the friendships until either 

they or I decide to quit this process of the written word.

Okay, tis time to munch away!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JusJoJan Day No: 10 – Dogs

I wonder how many writers or perhaps how many times a writer has penned words
through tearful eyes.

I share little with regard to personal life. Friends and I often joke about the
response ‘Fine Thanks’  when asked the polite question: “How are you?”

I’ve been raked through the coals and only those who’ve walked the same path have
any knowledge of the stories.

I started blogging for therapeutic reasons and ‘yes’ it helped to put ‘some’ of those
feelings of heartbreak out there. I’ve kept the details private though with good reason.

Moving along I participated in challenges for fun and also to learn, learn and learn more.

Then along came the opportunity – a month long challenge – rough draft a novel.
My choice was totally out-of-the-box.

Daily I deal with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and its’ friend Depression. Talk about illnesses that mess with one’s emotions.

I figured I had a dog’s chance of achieving my dream.

I grew dog-tired of going in circles and thought perhaps best to dog it period. 

This morn I attended a local author’s presentation and Poetry reading. It was quite beneficial.

I reflected on her words:
1. Time
2. Keep Trying
3. Celebrate Life

Could this combo be a heaven-sent message for me?? 

So without further adieu I’d like to share a picture of my favorite dog of the five dogs
that were part of my family. She’s a Lhasa Apso who was a family companion, loving
and attentive – slept beside me back when I was quite ill with a condition that took up
two paragraphs in a popular known set of encyclopedias. 

Puff after grooming visit - cutie

JusJoJan Day No: 10 – Dogs