When is Enough = Enough?

Today’s word prompt: long

express true feelings
taught them traits kindness concern
strangers surprised facts
changeless absence socials whys
first last face-to-face last first

genuine love show
years sacrifices dole-out
difference opinion speaks
automatic classified
negative female parent

to another y’all bequeath
rewards lifetime unworthy
mind-bending long time
secrets held protect loved ones
love bankruptcy birthright Mom

https://weeklyprompts.com/2022/04/09/weekly-prompts-weekend-challenge-long/





Truthful Tuesday: 2-22-22

Questions to answer:

Have you ever felt that one particular activity seemed to
consume more of your life than you were happy about?
Was it work, a hobby which got out of hand, health concerns
or something else?
Lastly have you managed to take back control or does it still
seem to be running the show?

Reflecting back there have been several I could discuss. At
the time I didn’t exactly feel unhappy nor overwhelmed by
any of them.
To be able to help someone who for specific health reasons
couldn’t leave the house was what a loving daughter would
do without giving a second thought to time involved or the
distance in miles walked pushing a baby carriage from one
end of town to another.
When I arrived at my destination, I would drop off the mail
and run errands in the center of town. I didn’t question the
mental state of the mother who’d never really acted like
all my friends’ moms.
These errands would have taken her approximately 15 to
45 minutes only she suffered from ‘agoraphobia’ and feared
leaving the house.
True fact: ‘For 10 years she never went outside, not even to
take out the trash’
.
Back in the 60s people weren’t educated about mental health.
Today myself a diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder patient
who suffers out-of-the-blue panic attacks I understand much
about the distress she experienced over decades with no medical
diagnosis nor treatment.
I’ve made peace with what was, what wasn’t and what could
have been thanks to medical knowledge gained inclusive a
a course in Abnormal Psychology.
In my heart I feel I did the best I could for a woman who
never once told me she loved me and tried many times to
undermine and interfere with my life’s choices.

https://pcguyiv.wordpress.com/2022/02/22/truthful-tuesday-february-22nd-2022/








The Dreaded Process Xs 2

Three words: decide, commit and repeat

  1. No longer could I live in this manner; it’s unwise and unhealthy.
  2. Reluctantly, I admitted to myself it was time to hire professionals.

30-day challenges ahead:

  1. Social Media Detox
  2. Declutter the apartment
  3. Self-carebudget more time for self

It took me quite awhile to find the proper photo today coupled with toggling
back and forth between block and classic editing. 

Unfortunately, my budgeted computer time is about to expire and from past

experience  I’m fully aware:

I’m on my own to continue to clean up a sordid

life mess. 

Next post I’ll discuss my feelings on Part1 of this long overdue journey.


Fixed incomes don’t appreciate too many out-of-pocket expenses!!

Concerns on Acute Depression

Strange how life unfolds

Social media posts paint glorious pictures

People’s days, months, and years happiness

Wow – how fortunate their lives be drama free

And then . . .

There are others who speak the truth – reality

Sadness, daily struggles even need for assistance

Illnesses, losses, days void of socialization, sheer loneliness

Either/or . . .

A reader’s choice to bypass or read, like and comment

Some choose to scroll past, others lament a response

Leaves a contributor food for thought exact share and write

Blogging hiatus

Springtime journey May through August appears

Count blog posts low several whys happens each year

Not lack of topics rather hand of cards life dealt try ignore

A good start . . .

Restart weight-loss program and walking regimen

Occasional stops picture taking architecture ‘n flowers

Back home pics be slideshow edited for Aesthetic videos

And then it happened . . .

The heat, the rain, the high humidity

Unknown reason return pain previous back injury

Life’s positive improvement shutdown in a few minutes

Sinking feeling . . .

When is enough, enough – when does person’s strength wane

Question self if finally coming unglued decade words fix nothing

Alone again face ‘n combat depression and certain not complain

Why?

Found through the years folks on scene when all is well

Same ones flee when person’s life takes a road becomes tough

Minimal show of compassion – lack of empathy – narcissists’ world now.








What Do You See #85 – June 7th 2021

A kitten so adorable, so tiny compared to a full-grown cat captures my heart.

I think back of teenage days, a trip to my girlfriend’s uncle’s farm and a litter

of kittens awaiting adoption inside a red barn.

That Sunday I would return home with my first pet, a calico kitten.

I named her Toastie perhaps due to her multi-colors – hard to remember now.

She was an indoor kitten who when I went to school would tear the wallpaper

to shreds.

Perhaps that’s what today is referred to as separation anxiety from the only

individual in the household who was capable of actual love, me.

I don’t know how long Toastie was with me – perhaps my parents intentionally

let her go outdoors when I was studying hard at school.

Thinking back ‘she disappeared’ were the words told to me.

I’d never see my cute, cuddly Toastie again.

She was the first and last kitten / cat in my life.

Although I always preferred cats versus dogs once married I heard the word, ‘NO’.

https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2021/06/07/what-do-you-see-85-june-7th-2021/

SoCS – March 13th 2021

Prompt: day-week-month-year

Reflecting back it’s hard to focus on whatever actually was positive as

daily reads and gruesome tales were the constant everywhere.

Step outside amidst ‘The Twilight Zone’.

I listened, I watched, I realized whatever I wished for was not in the cards

so best to accept fate.

For those who faced this most difficult time, remained positive and somehow

managed to be productive, I applaud you.

As a popular country western singer related, “This feels like prison.”

For certain since it’s NO you can’t do this and NO you can’t do that to this date.

My entire life I’ve never been a quitter. The Pandemic took its toll on me.

Slowly the depressed state of mind set in when I realized the scheduled

organization of my apartment wasn’t going to occur.

As the DIY list grew so did the anger and bitterness.

So many personal questions void of real answers or solutions.

Now:

I’ve grown tired of remembering that which I wish to forget so instead

I’ve given thought to writing more about what brought ‘LOVE’ into my

life before and after the empty nest syndrome.

Arts and crafts from this day forward – bi-weekly posts.

https://lindaghill.com/2021/03/12/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-13-2021/


National Grammar Day – March 4th

Earlier this week I wrote a post – topic Mother’s loss of a child.

The next morning a medical news article stared me in the face – topic blood types.

Curious??

Yes of course I became anxious to learn which blood type found thru studies performed

may lower risk of severity or worse in the current health crisis.

The answer was RH negative, the alien DNA which only 15% of the population

worldwide (of which I’m one) possess = a minority in classes of blood factors.

Countless times the word ‘may’ appeared throughout this article which I did

read in its entirety.

Percentage of immunity??

Comforting words – I think not.

Wonderful I’d been reminded of another loss – a son taken from me before birth

year 1969 due to this blood factor.

Tears flowed..

I wondered how much more of these horrendous memories triggered by words

written I shall have to endure in this lifetime.

The reality is 100% cruel punishment as I recalled the before, during and aftermath

of giving birth to a stillborn son who’d passed two weeks prior to delivery.

My shoulders once strong from weightlifting are slowing weakening a combo of

lack of anaerobic exercise and emotional stress.

I tell myself ‘never give up’ – I read all those nice affirmations and inspirational quotes.

Reality – going it alone in Golden years ‘sucks’.

The past two days I’ve had no choice other than tend to errands – need of nourishment

and medicines.

Yesterday afternoon I finished reading the second psychological thriller novel by the

same author.

Today I took a long nap.


Now what on earth does all the above relate to?

Today while driving from one location to another, the country music station announcer

stated it was ‘National Grammar Day’.

I checked online and ‘yes’ March 4th is the designated day for grammar.

Uumm what about the word ‘may’ that appeared countless times in that article.

Turns out it’s a modal verb that’s used in conjunction with a main verb to

express possibility thereof.

Overwhelmed at this time, I ‘may’ decide to change from my former goal

and write about romantic fantasy.

After all the mind can wander to unknown places and dabbling in fiction

might be fun.