Teenage Memories

I look out my apartment’s sliding glass door.

The view, the snow-covered grass park I spent

countless hours together with my wonderful teen

friends, brings back many happy memories.

The majority of these friends no longer walk

the paths within the park.

Some relocated due to jobs, some moved

away for other reasons and sadly many no

longer walk this place we call Earth.

Reflecting back to yesteryears there were

two sets of teenagers, the elite a.k.a. jocks

and the poor a.k.a. hoodlums, a group of

friends who were labelled ‘The Park Gang’.

Although an honor roll student in school,

I was a better fit for the latter group. Why?

My dysfunctional family was in the ‘ugh’

classification ‘poor’.

We were simply a group of friends

who spent time together enjoying

Mother Nature’s beauty and idle chit-chat.

On days when enough of us showed to hang

out we’d shoot hoops or utilize the ballfield.

The past is history; however, the same feeling

of ‘bullying’ persists via comparison of parents’

wealth.

I won’t apologize for my misfortune. I’d rather

concentrate on the present and hope for

improvement of current circumstances in the

near future.

Wealth doesn’t define a person; however, some

well-off people continue to be quite snobbish and

know-it-alls.

A Man and his Dog

It’s amazing the info you remember when awake

at 3:00 a.m.

I need to purchase a new recording device as short-

term memory is ‘short’ these days.

The hands of the clock, tick-tock – tick tock, most

definitely move at the pace of a snail.

This week I shared answers to a few exercises from

my self-love journal.

One day I wrote ’bout a tragedy, a stillbirth, followed

by a miracle (birth of my ‘Rainbow baby’ two years

later on same date, near exact time).

A short share ’bout forgiveness and indiscretions.

Within days of returning home after the stillbirth,

a strange occurrence began during dinner hour.

The telephone would ring followed by a hangup

when I answered the call.

Approximately an hour later the person whom I

loved most in the world would leave (new regimen)

for a nightly walk with the Beagle on leash.

To spend some time alone after a loss can be

therapeutic for the paternal parent – known fact.

It didn’t take long to catch onto this new pattern.

The phone call was a signal and three hours

later man and dog returned home.

Although far from funny at the time, neither

of them lost an ounce.

There were lots of harsh words spoken and

the decision to remain married rather than to

divorce agreed upon by both.

People at vulnerable times often seek solace

elsewhere. Sad, but true.

If you’ve lived thru such an experience, you’ll

understand healing from a tragedy doesn’t

occur in the arms of another.

Indiscretions only exacerbate the situation

marital partners should work on together.


Smiles are Contagious

When I arrived at the crossroads of self-assessment, I felt

relieved as though I’d finished another fun aerobics class

or conclusion of one more session with my personal

trainer.

In retrospect I remember my gym days especially due to

the fact my combo instructor – personal trainer was a

loved family member, my youngest son.

Five to six days per week after classes I overheard an

enormous amount of positive chit-chat from women

in the locker room ’bout their favorite instructor.

‘Women of all ages love a handsome man with a good

physique.’

Hilarious to me was how the title role ‘Mom’ had been
given to another with graying hair, an assumption.

Although class participants knew Mom showed up on a

daily basis, they never inquired as to which older woman

was actually the instructor’s mother.

For months my son and I played out this ‘unknown truth’

scenario quite well and then the unexpected happened,

true revelation.

Some ladies were quite embarrassed due to descriptive

adjectives spoken betwixt them in conversations and

thought it necessary to apologize to me.

Smile! Smile!

Reflecting back my thoughts were:

  1. I’m thrilled you ladies love my son.
  2. Your hilarious comments weren’t offensive to me.

We all shared a good laugh!!

Twenty-four years ago he decided to follow his dream.

His move overseas left me filled with mixed emotions.

The past month when amid my exercises on self-love

I learned it was okay to feel both happy and sad about

his relocation.

Some decisions a parent has to often unwillingly accept.

For me acceptance changed to acceptance with gratitude.




What Do You See #85 – June 7th 2021

A kitten so adorable, so tiny compared to a full-grown cat captures my heart.

I think back of teenage days, a trip to my girlfriend’s uncle’s farm and a litter

of kittens awaiting adoption inside a red barn.

That Sunday I would return home with my first pet, a calico kitten.

I named her Toastie perhaps due to her multi-colors – hard to remember now.

She was an indoor kitten who when I went to school would tear the wallpaper

to shreds.

Perhaps that’s what today is referred to as separation anxiety from the only

individual in the household who was capable of actual love, me.

I don’t know how long Toastie was with me – perhaps my parents intentionally

let her go outdoors when I was studying hard at school.

Thinking back ‘she disappeared’ were the words told to me.

I’d never see my cute, cuddly Toastie again.

She was the first and last kitten / cat in my life.

Although I always preferred cats versus dogs once married I heard the word, ‘NO’.

https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2021/06/07/what-do-you-see-85-june-7th-2021/

National Grammar Day – March 4th

Earlier this week I wrote a post – topic Mother’s loss of a child.

The next morning a medical news article stared me in the face – topic blood types.

Curious??

Yes of course I became anxious to learn which blood type found thru studies performed

may lower risk of severity or worse in the current health crisis.

The answer was RH negative, the alien DNA which only 15% of the population

worldwide (of which I’m one) possess = a minority in classes of blood factors.

Countless times the word ‘may’ appeared throughout this article which I did

read in its entirety.

Percentage of immunity??

Comforting words – I think not.

Wonderful I’d been reminded of another loss – a son taken from me before birth

year 1969 due to this blood factor.

Tears flowed..

I wondered how much more of these horrendous memories triggered by words

written I shall have to endure in this lifetime.

The reality is 100% cruel punishment as I recalled the before, during and aftermath

of giving birth to a stillborn son who’d passed two weeks prior to delivery.

My shoulders once strong from weightlifting are slowing weakening a combo of

lack of anaerobic exercise and emotional stress.

I tell myself ‘never give up’ – I read all those nice affirmations and inspirational quotes.

Reality – going it alone in Golden years ‘sucks’.

The past two days I’ve had no choice other than tend to errands – need of nourishment

and medicines.

Yesterday afternoon I finished reading the second psychological thriller novel by the

same author.

Today I took a long nap.


Now what on earth does all the above relate to?

Today while driving from one location to another, the country music station announcer

stated it was ‘National Grammar Day’.

I checked online and ‘yes’ March 4th is the designated day for grammar.

Uumm what about the word ‘may’ that appeared countless times in that article.

Turns out it’s a modal verb that’s used in conjunction with a main verb to

express possibility thereof.

Overwhelmed at this time, I ‘may’ decide to change from my former goal

and write about romantic fantasy.

After all the mind can wander to unknown places and dabbling in fiction

might be fun.

All That’s Left is Memories

Days Autumn’s beauty
Documents shredded dreams gone
Don’t compare your life
Decisions circumstances
Dark-side depression abate

I should be preparing dinner rather I chose to read few fellow bloggers’ posts.
My chosen reads triggered nostalgic memories.
Oh, those intrusive thoughts!!


Autumn’s extremely colorful fall foliage
Columbus Day weekend’s 4-day camping vacation each year
Breath-taking views amidst the White Mountains
Days full abundance sunshine followed by cool, crisp starry nights

A song from the year I walked down the aisle
Thoughts of forever love
Appreciate the one who loves you and does her best to please you

Encompassed lonely feeling difficult to escape these days / nights

Last an acrostic poem ’bout what we in states call jelly doughnuts
Teen years – consuming three of them plus a vanilla frappe before class

The power of words!!


Memories Dating Back to the 60s

Blue Cornflower percolator he – he -he
Bridal shower gift dating back mid 1960s

Brand new bride appear lack common sense
Coffee first attempt void cooking experience

Necessary follow instructions – definite not she
Brewing tasteful coffee certain easy no difficulty

Til husband’s loud question spun head around
Instructions in hand recipe coffee shown found 

Hun thought twas supposed to fill entire basket
No idea prepping strong coffee result hairy chest