Lost Late in Life

Five plus years ago when I started this blog I believed in my heart

placing words on paper void of all the personal details would

somehow be beneficial.

To a high degree I found blogging quite therapeutic.

In addition to my own articles I quite enjoyed participating in

daily / weekly prompts plus the interaction from other bloggers.

Yes, I considered myself an official member of Blogosphere.

And then along came the Pandemic . . .

Life became 10 times more difficult – maintain my sanity being ‘alone’,

I managed to keep busy and adapt to all the constant change.

Mid-may I interacted with an individual who was 6 plus months into AA recovery.

A child of an alcoholic I did my best to help – daily affirmations and texting – all

good – all above board = 100 % genuine.

Then either Facebook malfunctioned or said individual made decision no

more interaction (shut down).

It seems I didn’t take this type of rejection too well and best description of

my own feelings about this situation:

‘evolution of near becoming unglued’.

My entire life’s journey started to play out – the good, the bad and the ugly.

Confused, scared and fairly numb (still functional) I sought out reading material

a sudden need for info on what was happening to me so late in life.

It took awhile and then a book appeared – a book written for me – one all

about my sordid dysfunctional life.

The hard part was to admit to myself – like addicts do in the 12-step program.

It seems I’m a ‘Codependent’ and from time to time I’ll write about

the work I’m doing to overcome and hopefully find peace in my life.

You who I tried to help still follow me on here so I’ll say

Thank you” for sending me down a new path which when

I arrive at the finish line should find me in a better place within

my personal life.

No bitter feelings toward you who I considered a friend rather prayers for

continued success on your own day-to-day journey

God Bless!!

Truthful Tuesday: February 9th 2021

A mixture of preparedness and weekly prompts is the norm I look forward

to monthly.

As the holidays approached I began to write less and less.

Looking back I admit my lack of desire was due to a combination

of factors (personal and Pandemic-related).

I fully understand writer’s burnout and empathize with the alternate

host of this prompt.

Without questions to answer I found myself left with two choices

(participate and wing it or bypass).

I made my selection and since this prompt is one to tell the truth (not fib) I’ll

share a few enlightening moments from my past few days.

The 5th of this month was the 5th anniversary of my previous husband’s

passing (RIP).

I’d read the nice tribute our youngest daughter had posted on Facebook

only that evening mentioned ‘nothing’ to her.

Those involved in far from amicable divorces understand long-lasting

feelings experienced by the scorned woman.

The following night during our usual late night phone conversation

she brought up the topic some refer to as the elephant in the room.

I sat. I listened to her explanation. She’d included events

experienced with both biological parents.

It appears I missed her good intentions when I basically scanned

the post that morn.

Before she closed the topic she said, ‘Mom focus on the ‘good’

memories from all those years.

This suggestion undoubtedly for me will be hard to follow through

with on a constant basis; however, I vowed to try my best to honor

her request as ‘yes’ I admit it made perfect sense.

An epiphany?? Possibly!

Imagine how I felt this morn, a few days later, when I read a poem

written by a friend, a published Poetess. Nearing the end the

line below, one I resonate with, jumped out at me.

She’d penned:

“Living with grief means I have lived with much love.”

https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/2021/02/09/truthful-tuesday-9th-february/




SoCS – Nov. 14th 2020

Today’s prompt word: ring

Cell phone conversation – fictitious name . . .

RingRingRing

Me: ‘Hello’
Crista: ‘Hi, how are you?’

Me: ‘With whom am I speaking?
Crista: ‘It’s your friend, Crista.’

Passing thought = OH!

Me: ‘Sorry I didn’t recognize your voice.’ -‘I’m doing okay.’ – ‘And how are you?’

Crista: ‘My days are so busy.’ – ‘I keep meaning to ring your number then it’s too

late to call.’

Passing thought = REALLY!

A short conversation – my new practice for long overdue callers – 10 minutes max.

RingRingRing

Me: ‘Sorry to cut our catching up short – there’s an incoming call on my

other cell phone.’

Crista: ‘Okay, let’s stay in contact.’

Passing thought: I WOULDN’T COUNT ON IT.

The above is how I feel towards the few who were part of my face-to-face life for

25 to 35 years who fail to call then feeling guilty contact me with what I consider

a fake explanation.

You promised you’d be there for me. Remember?? Then you disappeared

from my life.

If I call you I can count on leaving a voice message and if lucky a return call in 3 to 4

days.

There are many sayings to read with regard on how you allow others to treat you.

Interesting though people dislike when you give them a taste of their own

behavior.

No, I haven’t heard from Crista in over two years and I refuse to call her since it was

always I who took the initiative.

I doubt I’m mistaken about the definition of friendship being a two-way street.

I’m certain though there’ll be a Christmas card in my mailbox again this year.

Sorry, the intended recipient will place it unopened in the trash same as year 2019.

It was nice knowing you – how quickly people forget promises to another who fell

on hard times.

https://lindaghill.com/2020/11/13/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-14-2020/











The Sunday Whirl # 476

Today’s words: risk – power – contract – flight – doubt – strip – die – board – cast –
assault – crisis – right

Procrastination – uumm – tackle another crisis ??
Right now I’d like to cast an evil spell on the person
who removed my still warm laundry from the dryer
.
Without doubt twas one of the newer younger tenants
lacking patience who couldn’t wait a few moments
or ascend a flight of stairs.

I feel so violated to find my clean clothes thrown upon
a not-so-clean board secured to the laundry room wall.

It appears that with age one is often stripped of their rights.
In my defense I hadn’t left my laundry unattended for hours
and there was another dryer available for use.
It felt like a no-contact assault had been committed against
a person (me) who never once in over 10 years met with such
an experience.

An initial thought to open that dryer door and let the person’s
time run out to find their clothes still wet crossed my mind.

A person who doesn’t feel like two wrongs make a right I
chose the higher road – tis better to be nice – own persona’s contract.

Adage: “Old habits die hard.”

Although far from a happy camper I finished the Wordle.
(today’s writing accomplishment)
I have yet to learn all about the updated WP changes – snail’s pace.

https://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/2020/10/04/wordle-476/






What a Week – Wait Not Over Yet!

Stopped in noon hour to take a peek – suggestions / prompt challenges submission

next week.

Two days of dismay working with technological issues was one heck of an

emotional strain.

Three years of work right down the drain and likely situation unfixable since

robuts don’t talk.

I think it took its’ toll on me.

Why?

While heading for an early morning lab visit suddenly I found myself stuck behind

a Sunday driver.

You know the ones who drive 25 miles or less per hour.

Solid yellow lines – do not even attempt to pass driver ahead.

Lovely was my first thought. Stay calm.

Yepp, I became so relaxed to the point of driving right past my turnoff.

Panic stricken now – surrounded by mostly forest – where am I?

Time to turn around and revisit the road you took – a good tactic liken to retracing

one’s steps.

Arrived at the lab approximate 7:30 a.m.

Mask on headed for the building’s door only before I could enter twas necessary

I answer several health-related questions followed by temperature taken

with an infrared thermometer.

Once I passed through the doors I was met with another gal, Ipad in hand,

who took down personal information.

The waiting room was far from full and the seats had laminated notices with

regard to social distancing.

Thankful the wait was short – a few more questions – blood drawn – on my way.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so scared and alone as I did this morn- no way to start a day.

Pandemic – enough – please go away!!






Frustration 101

The past few days have been draining on me.

It began when my account on a popular video app was placed in parental controls.

What does that mean?

I have lost many privileges and any videos I make are private mode.

Lovely, all my videos (solo or duets) have been 100% respectable.

The problem: It appears when I signed on I accidentally scrolled the date of birth

and failed to double-check before submission of my profile info.

This is where the situation becomes hilarious!

My age is listed as (1) which of course is impossible; however, by all accounts

I’m now a popular genius with 3K fans.

And so with a little assistance from my daughter – a complaint on a different

app where creators’ group interacts they all know my true age (73).

No, I never feigned my age to anyone – the filters are cheap plastic surgery.

Followers thought I was in my 50s – a compliment when I did an age reveal

video earlier this year.

Thus far the problem on the overseas’ app is not fixed.

And I’m not the only one experiencing this type of problem. Phew!

What to do?

For now, I created another account with the old name when I first joined.

No longer will I be known as the grandma to my famous granddaughter.

It’s not a big deal (either / or) whatever transpires in the future.

So yesterday I spent with the world of technology – creating new passwords

for several social media accounts thanks to stored passwords now undone.

Next came a full delete and restart to my cellphone – talk about a pain in the

derriere.

Finally finished with all this Tech inconvenience today I find over here I’ve

more to learn / changeover.

At this point (Thursday) I wish to run away only there’s nowhere to go since

the Canadian border is closed and that’s where I’d truly like to vacation.

So now I’ll go on my merry way and tackle some meaningless chore.

To those of you who still have a partner (spouse or companion) remember

to appreciate and love them for who they are.

Life is promised to no individual and one never knows how quickly their

life can change in a moment of time.

Take care – smile – be happy!!

Prayer – Religion – Over the Years

These days I rarely utilize my computer during evening hours.

I’ve grown tired of all the hype and fear instilled within thanks to social media.

The news app on my cell phone constantly dings with near 100 percent negative

articles.

Windows 10 updated and ‘Hello’ a new challenge with more decision-making

ahead.

This morn I downloaded a pic of a beautiful crocheted granny square only

to discover hours later I’m unable to proceed as ‘I wish’.

It’s evident I’m in control of zilch at this point until I piece together yet

another puzzle.

I’ve come to the conclusion life known ‘n created now phase non-existence.

I don’t understand!! 

Little makes sense anymore.

I ponder thoughts:

Better to safeguard wholesome feelings still within ‘heart’

Settle ‘good try’ leave incomplete unfulfilled dream ‘depart’

Seek new direction versus continue move forward ‘restart’

Mirror reflections tenure life ne’er consider self be ‘quitter’

Troublesome times worldwide persona creation ’embitter’

Conclusion – pen words persevere forward personal ‘transmitter’

As a reader you may wonder how the contents of this post relate to the title.

The story began with an innocent young girl’s desire to join and participate

in Catechism class.

At registration she was handed a form which required her parents’ permission.

Returning home with much anticipation for the signature to learn Catholicism 

she found herself face-to-face with negativity void of explanation. 

Answer: ‘NO!’

Although she wasn’t allowed to attend weekly CCD class, she proceeded each 

week to dress in her Sunday best and attend Mass. 

Who knew??

One day many years later, married with children of her own, she’d be teaching 

religion from her home to young students.

That girl was ‘ME’.

Although life’s circumstances changed in recent years (not for the better), I’ll

continue to maintain my beliefs until I no longer exist here on Earth and can

rest in God’s arms. 

 

 

 

 

Escaping from Reality

Birds ‘n couples practicing distance social
Grannie home alone nowhere necessary go

Counting down twelve days to birthday 73
Thoughts celebrate alone this year ‘poi’ me

Seriousness lockdown ne’er underestimate
Sad become taxing person’s emotional state

Seek ‘n thankful find methods distract
Scroll thru multitude cell phone apps

Mini video creator deduction documented age
Themes, filters ‘n stickers 1.7K fans found page

Over time Grannie mastered free social app
Weekend decision sign on trial ‘n error game  Roblox