March 1st Mindset: Game Over

After reading eulogies on social media of two different men whom I know for fact

were underserving of positive statements written, I wondered if I had the the wrong

concept with regard to life or somehow had turned into a ‘Negative Nancy’.

I refrained from comment with a like, care and certainly not a love emoji. Rather I

bypassed the post and offered up no reply.

After all common sense to me is not build up the character of a man who left a

loving wife with four children, fled to the opposite side of the country, remarried,

started another family yet offered up not one cent for those four children nor the wife

left behind.

My memory storage bank still contains countless flashbacks of many difficult

days the woman endured fending for herself at such a young age

before a much younger man entered her life and helped raise those

children. In my opinion he was more deserving of the praise.

Talk about degrees of forgiveness!!

I thought – wow it’s fine to do ‘whatever’ and be remembered in

such a good light by two of four children you never met only recently

through FaceTime.

This is but one incident this past week that boggled my mind.

Curious, I looked up the definition of ‘Negative Nancy’ and found the

following warning signs:

  1. Constantly worrying – yes I worry a lot; however, I don’t think
    it’s overdone.

  2. World’s great pessimist – no since I offer up lots of support and positive
    compliments to family members, friends and virtual friends
    .
  3. Tendency to be oversensitive – ‘yes’ and have already learned
    behavioral patterns to combat those feelings
    .

4. You don’t go outside your comfort zone – not true since I’m open
to trying new hobbies – traveling alone (dislike – no choice).

5. Dwell on the past – years of family history in making don’t up and
disappear. Chasing out intrusive thoughts daily is tiresome though.

6. Trouble maintaining healthy relationships – that’s a tricky one to
address since each person’s mindset is quite different.


7. Not excited about the future – well when so much has been far
removed from your life, although you weren’t responsible for the
actions of others, it can be difficult to plan ahead taking into
consideration the age factor.


8. Frequently judge others – not exactly – rather listen, observe
and keep opinions to myself.


9. Don’t accept a compliment.
For years I’d always say ‘Thank you’ followed by ‘but’. I changed
as I aged and accept compliments freely.

10. Focus on problems – not solutions – doubtful since I’m constantly
in search of remedies (not always medical ones).


Overall I realize I’m far from Ms. Perfect and people can form their
own opinion(s) (good or not-so-good). It’s me who has to be happy with
herself.


Currently I’ve learned to treat people the same way they treat me – a
blessing in disguise
for me.



Self-help Book

Kindle reader
Insomniac’s brain feeder

Book selection
People-pleaser’s reflection

Mechanisms brain
Process necessary retrain

Personality tests
Truthful answers best

Suggestions follow
Tides daily ebb ‘n flow

Desire learn ‘n accomplish
Persona mindfulness obvious

Designate time write Shadow Journal
Schedule fresh-air walk curb feelings internal

Senior citizen old still young at heart
Assertiveness good method ne’er too late start

Faith and Priorities

Today still uncertain
Best close final curtain

Lord’s messages sent
Interpretations present

Decision address ‘n face
Priorities life misplaced

Whene’er new ideas react
Goal progress sidetracked

Creation last vid clip past weekend
Bid ‘adieu’ thousands virtual friends

Unmarked lit calendar squares near
Allowance time for personal self-care

Thoughts ahead return limited basis
Change niche new journey she embraces

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday Writing Prompt “Life Changing”

I think back to elementary school years and a special teacher who took interest in

me and my home life situation. 

By today’s standards I definitely grew up in a dysfunctional family. 

This teacher graduated with me each year as she moved up to teach the next grade.

On Saturdays she held French classes in her home and I was able to attend free of

charge – yes, the poor of the parish with hand-me-down clothes, a father who 

drank away his weekly paycheck leaving only enough money for bare necessities  

and a mother who people referred to as different. 

Years later after graduation from high school I included this teacher on my 

wedding invitation list. 

She did attend the church ceremony; however she passed on the afternoon

reception.

For years each Christmas she sent me a beautiful card – inclusive were 

words of encouragement.

I presume she saw in me what I didn’t see within myself – power to succeed

and from best I can recall she wrote ‘never give up on your dreams no matter

your age’.

I managed to accomplish quite a bit within my life amid personal struggles.

In the early 70s while in conversation with the primary builder of my 

marital home I mentioned a dream goal I’d hope to attain in the future.

The man’s response was nearly the same wording as my favorite teacher

from elementary school. 

Sadly dreams don’t always come true; however, I learned to substitute and 

be thankful for that which I was able to accomplish. 

The alternative for my craft shop was a stay-at-home sewing venture that

supplemented my fixed income.

From 10:00 a.m. through 2:00 to 3:00 p.m. I’d sew dancewear and 

custom made-to-order outfits. 

The hand-made items were sold to people I knew, online and at my 

hometown’s yearly craft fair.

In year 2017 totally retired from crunching numbers and sewing for $$ I started

blogging more and during the past few years made some nice virtual friends.

Sitting at the kitchen table this morn eating breakfast I reflected on a few of the

morning reads.

At my age I’m not certain if I wish to continue blogging in hopes of publishing a

book before the Lord calls me home.

Perhaps blogging and being able to place the word ‘writer’ following my name is

as close to being an author that’s in God’s plans. 

It’s not that I’m giving up 100 percent – more like I need to do what makes

me happy.

Thus I have thought of returning to my love of crafts in hopes of earning a

few extra bucks.

Sunday Writing Prompt “Life Changing”

 

 

 

 

An Icon of the 80s – Pac-man

This morn for fun I attempted to research a game my son, a computer geek, managed

to get me hooked on. 

Years ago this woman with children played the Japanese arcade game released back 

in the 80s until wee hours of the morn.

I digress.

Fast forward life to year 2020 and newfound self-awareness.

At a different chapter of life a.k.a. last chapter I find tis in my own best interests

to implement some social media changes. 

Similar to Pac-man who travelled the maze trying to eat dots while avoiding mean

ghosts, I feel the need to purge – disconnect from fake friends on FB and WP followers

who don’t follow their own written words with regards to guidelines and friendships. 

Time is precious and I prefer to share it amidst sincere folk whom I can count on

to be there in both good and bad times.

Prioritization 101.

I’ve made my list of those nice bloggers with whom I interact either daily or weekly. 

They are my virtual friends and  I sincerely hope to continue the friendships until either 

they or I decide to quit this process of the written word.

Okay, tis time to munch away!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Monday Peeve No: 22

The Monday Peeve No: 22

Self-reminder:  compile a list of complaints throughout the week –

things that piss me off.

Then on Monday I could choose the most bothersome to me previous days  

Tuesday through Sunday.

Today’s intention was to write about those bothersome pop-up ads as

you click one off and another one greets your computer screen. 

A late start this morn I began the usual scroll thru the Reader before breakfast. 

My thyroid med dictates – a glass of water and no food for minimum

30 minutes. 

Surprise! Surprise!

Majority post selections one following another = morbidity.

Overcome thanks to consistent negativity I experienced the sudden desire

to puke.

I knew this feeling wasn’t due to my morning med nor fact of no nourishment

rather the depth of the reads.

Thankfully I was able to access my favorite morning floral sites and enjoy 

viewing the beauty of the ladies’ daily floral selections. 

I thought February was supposed to be the month of LOVE only today’s posts 

left me with sad feelings that could lead to a day ahead of depression. 

It’s amazing the power of words – this impact fueled the desire to shutdown 

the computer and left me with decision return later versus never come back.

It may be I need to change my desired topical selections, continue to interact

with those I’ve come to know and enjoy via shares.

Yes, I can relate to so many people on here as I’ve walked in their shoes

or a similar pair. The difference is the pain I share although real leaves

out sordid details.

I’m trying hard to rebuild my personal life and triggers via these types of reads 

could lead to the possibility of setback(s).

 

 

 

 

 

Little Birdie Told Me ~ Article Showed Me

Bluebird happiness
Atop sugar canister 
Rare pick up cover
Added sugar ne’er bother
Place teaspoons sweeten tea
Nor found inside hot nor iced coffee

Sugar intake became best friend when
Alone at night bowl ice cream consume
Result gain back portion pounds took months lose
Anew today start over again – say farewell ‘good-bye’
Favorite culprit replacement cut-up healthy snacks
Sad shame bad habits haunt resurface find their way back.

~JAQ

 

 

Dear . . .

A memory lane story:

Sipping coffee a friend sat opposite me at my kitchen table.
Reason for her visit was potential sale set of encyclopedias.
An expensive purchase void spouse consult near found me amid divorce.
Imagine!!

During my friend's visit we chatted 'bout lots of topics. 
There is one statement she made 30 years ago and no idea reason.
She said, "There is a fine line one crosses from sanity to insanity."
Wow!! 

Lots of negatives happened since then - who would believe if I tell?
Lesson learned thru years is 'few' truly care.
It's my destiny and all future decisions and endeavors mine to make.
Sad!!

I miss the old me * the fun me * the gal open to opportunities.
If I continue to hold onto the sordid past they win and I lose.
The road to WELLNESS leaves me the task of burying the past forever.
New Beginnings!!
acceptance of what was - it's so over - year passed (2)