After reading eulogies on social media of two different men whom I know for fact
were underserving of positive statements written, I wondered if I had the the wrong
concept with regard to life or somehow had turned into a ‘Negative Nancy’.
I refrained from comment with a like, care and certainly not a love emoji. Rather I
bypassed the post and offered up no reply.
After all common sense to me is not build up the character of a man who left a
loving wife with four children, fled to the opposite side of the country, remarried,
started another family yet offered up not one cent for those four children nor the wife
left behind.
My memory storage bank still contains countless flashbacks of many difficult
days the woman endured fending for herself at such a young age
before a much younger man entered her life and helped raise those
children. In my opinion he was more deserving of the praise.
Talk about degrees of forgiveness!!
I thought – wow it’s fine to do ‘whatever’ and be remembered in
such a good light by two of four children you never met only recently
through FaceTime.
This is but one incident this past week that boggled my mind.
Curious, I looked up the definition of ‘Negative Nancy’ and found the
following warning signs:
- Constantly worrying – yes I worry a lot; however, I don’t think
it’s overdone. - World’s great pessimist – no since I offer up lots of support and positive
compliments to family members, friends and virtual friends. - Tendency to be oversensitive – ‘yes’ and have already learned
behavioral patterns to combat those feelings.
4. You don’t go outside your comfort zone – not true since I’m open
to trying new hobbies – traveling alone (dislike – no choice).
5. Dwell on the past – years of family history in making don’t up and
disappear. Chasing out intrusive thoughts daily is tiresome though.
6. Trouble maintaining healthy relationships – that’s a tricky one to
address since each person’s mindset is quite different.
7. Not excited about the future – well when so much has been far
removed from your life, although you weren’t responsible for the
actions of others, it can be difficult to plan ahead taking into
consideration the age factor.
8. Frequently judge others – not exactly – rather listen, observe
and keep opinions to myself.
9. Don’t accept a compliment.
For years I’d always say ‘Thank you’ followed by ‘but’. I changed
as I aged and accept compliments freely.
10. Focus on problems – not solutions – doubtful since I’m constantly
in search of remedies (not always medical ones).
Overall I realize I’m far from Ms. Perfect and people can form their
own opinion(s) (good or not-so-good). It’s me who has to be happy with
herself.
Currently I’ve learned to treat people the same way they treat me – a
blessing in disguise for me.
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