Writing

Tasks done standing in place
Thoughts travelling embrace
Transfer book commonplace

Dishes wash prior prevalent
Discipline self-time sufficient
Deservingness idea contingent

Day heretofore enjoyable
Day blatantly miserable
Day penned words downright struggle

Die-hard sage tinkers poem constant
Decision major or minor adjustments
Discernment aesthetic blog post pleasant



No Internet Connection: Aggravation

Yesterday early morn when the internet was still available I
started deleting photos (a process in progress) to free up
space.
And then I came across a ‘shortcut’ only to find numerous
photos and documents relocated when technology decided
to take over.
Lovely, I thought to myself as I proceeded to access each
and decide if to keep or place in recycle bin.
Then I found a poem I’d written in 2018 and thought I’d
repost it after my errands were completed for the day.
Surprise, surprise ‘no internet connection’ which lasted for
several hours.
Today I searched the year I posted the poem on here and
with 12 months to the calendar year of course the last one
I accessed showed the poem.
In shock I looked at the format and wondered why the
words followed one another rather than in a poem’s format.
Anyway, I’ll repost the poem I wrote.
“The Empty Hole”

Exterior thankful whole
Interior broken heart holds

Grief assimilates tides ebbs and flows
Five stages conclusion sudden undertow

Sadness empty gape forever unpaved
Thankful ‘Lord’ concrete faith to me gave

No prelude exhaustive process loss
Survivors bear unfathomable cross

Acceptance unchosen future alone alas
Society’s behaviors liken senseless crass.

I read this and to myself thought how
little my thoughts and feelings changed
during the past three plus years following
penning this poem.

Imprisoned by emotions:

Aggravation: Acrostic Poem

A ccess denied senior housing
G ains losses honest frustration
G low wanes hope diminishes
R itual continues night in, night out
A ggro intensifies lack quality sleep
V exation position day in, day out
A ltered persona kindness to nastiness
T reated unjustly umpteen times
I nappropriate mannerisms unresolved
O bsessive compulsive surreptitious adult
N asty inconsiderate nocturnal vampire heart hates.

Hot Mess ~ Success

Laptop, chair cup tea
Lack of inspiration thee
Let someone down, me

Idea romance
Instead stare screen semi-trance
Insult dawn last straw

Each day new burden
Every choice uncertain
Eh, no gain force writes

Above penned in combo ‘ABC’ and ‘Tanka’ poetry styles.
The word spelled out is ‘lie’.
I often wonder if blogging is therapeutic or waste of precious time.
Although fairly intelligent, a person with common-sense, until the
Lord calls me home it’s doubtful I’ll ever understand certain behavioral
patterns of humans.





Humor – letter to me

While reading my last chosen book for the 2021 Goodreads

challenge I did many suggested workbook exercises.

Reality: ‘All the questions & answers, all the lists, all the

drawings and the letters to myself were ‘beneficial’.

I had to be 100 percent onboard and honest to feel

the gain/reward.

Random page from my journal ‘Happy Thoughts’

contains a letter I wrote to my body. It’s soo much

better to feel good about yourself.

The day I wrote the following I had a good laugh.

Dear Body,

You are old and tired now.

I remember when I used to take better care of you.

What happened? Life! Ageism. Depression.

Although I make honest efforts to forge ahead,

re-starting an exercise regimen combined with

healthy eating I doubt I’m going to approve of

the image in the mirror.

Wear a bikini (heck no) related thought = dread.

The stomach of this body carried four children on

the inside and I have a ‘roadmap’ to nowhere for

proof on the outside.

True, I’m unique and special – look at the previous

exercise, a long list of hobbies I tried throughout

my life and all the accomplishments.

Truth is: ‘I don’t like being old’; however, I’ll continue

my ‘old in years – young at heart’ portrayal.

I pray I can keep a positive mindset – one day at

a time future.

‘It’s okay to love myself and demand respect’ even

when the mirror image is a bit bothersome and tad

scary.

This journal entry portrays mixed emotions.

One has to put themself in a good frame of

mind and enjoy today’s journey at whatever

stage of life.

To compare oneself to the younger generation

is a waste of time since the biological clock

moves in one direction, forward.

How to Handle Stress in Healthy Ways

When you’re feeling anxious (my case when not) a good idea is to take a time-out.

I’m not exactly certain to what extent this thought will affect me in coming days;

however, I feel the need to try something different.

In with the new – out with the old.

This week I spoke at length long-distance with my oldest granddaughter.

She hasn’t had an easy life since her Mother (my daughter) departed from Earth.

The month of June is tough for us as we experience an array of emotions unknown

and foreign to those who’ve never lost a parent or a child.

An interesting comment she made to me was in regard to ‘positivity toxicity’.

Here for years I’ve been reading self-help books and trying to understand people’s

actions and in the end feeling a bit numb.

Could it be possible that too much of a good thing isn’t exactly the most healthiest

ingredient?

I thought about her words.

Too much sodium isn’t good for high blood pressure patients; too much sugar isn’t

wise for a diabetic.

And I’m beginning to reflect on the possibility that trying to hard, caring too much,

reading and listening to comforting words does little to curb what I’ve been

experiencing on the inside these past years.

Words – words – words!!

Then I Googled ‘Toxic Positivity’ and found that ‘yes’ there is such a belief.

Defined as: an obsession with positive thinking, people should place a positive

spin on all experiences — even those profoundly tragic.

Wow – what an absurd thought pattern.